The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes (Page 11)

Season 3 Episode 15: "Homer Alone"

Homer: Hi Barney, thanks for keeping me company!
Barney: No problem...well, well, if it isn't little Bart! Remember me, your uncle Barney! Hey Homer let me hold him.
Homer: Alright, but just be careful!
Barney: Whoa! Someone smells stinky! Oh it's me!
 • Rating: Unrated

Selma: Come on kids! Time to rub Aunt Patty's feet!
(Bart and Lisa shudder)
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Lisa: Mom, Bart's making faces at me.
Bart: It's a nervous twitch, and I'm a little sensitive about it, if you don't mind.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Arnie: This is Arnie Pie with Arnie in the Sky. We've got big problems on the Springfield Memorial Bridge, people. Traffic going waaaay back in both directions. And look out at the corner of 14th and Elm, because I just dropped my bagel.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Eddie: She's locked in the car and refuses to move.
Chief Wiggum: Did you flash your lights?
Eddie: Yes.
Chief Wiggum: Well, I'm fresh out of ideas.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: I need to unwind.
Homer: I know you do, Marge, but come on, you know what our vacations are like. Those three monsters in the back seat: "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" And let's face it; I'm no day at the beach either: "Marge, can I have another sandwich? Marge, can I have another sandwich?"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marge: Thanks again for taking the children while I'm away.
Selma: Don't worry yourself.
Patty: We've got six months of maternity leave we're never going to use anyway.
 • Rating: Unrated

Troy: I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such movies as "Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die" and "Gladys the Groovy Mule." But today you'll see me in my greatest role - your video tour guide to Rancho Relaxo!
 • Rating: Unrated

Radio: This is Coma - WKOMA, restful, easy listening. Coming up next, a super set of songs about clouds.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 14: "Lisa the Greek"

(Show and tell)
Ralph: And when the doctor said I didn't have worms anymore, that was the happiest day of my life!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lisa: Wouldn't it be fun if we watched the game together?
Homer: Eeeeeh.....okay, just don't say anything and sit down over there...... Over.... over.... over.....over....
Lisa: (sighs)
Homer: Lisa! Please! I can't hear the announcers!
Lisa: He said Denver just fumbled.
Homer: D'oh!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: Dad, I'm making the Chiefs my 5 star silver bullet special. And with your blessing, I'd like to tie it to the Cowboys, plus 5 in Chicago.
Homer: Good, Good. You Call Moe.
Lisa: (Dials phone) Hello, Moe? It's L.S. calling for H.S--
Moe: Just give me the numbers Lisa.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Well, do you ever take an interest in anything he does?
Lisa: Well, we used to have burping contests but I outgrew it.
 • Rating: Unrated

TV - Coach: You want some of this don't you?
Homer: Yeah!
TV - Coach: Well, you need to know the winner, and I know the winner! So call me nowwhoah. (speaking faster) Five dollars for the first minute, two dollars for each additional minute!
(Homer calls)
Phone Message: You.... have reached... the... coaches... hot...
Homer: Line...
Phone Message: Line...
Homer: Yeah, lay it on me, coach!
Phone Message: In the game of.... Mi..am..i..
Homer: Mmmhmm.
Phone Message: Versus Cin..
Homer: Cincinnati...
Phone Message: Cin...
Homer: Cincinnati...
Phone Message: nat..
Homer: Cincinnati...
Phone Message: ti...
Homer: Come on, come on, don't you realize this is costing me money!!
Phone Message: We must consider... many... things.... The wind...
Homer: D'oh, not the wind!
Phone Message: Is blowing out of the....west.
Homer: Oow...
Phone Message: At five...
Homer: Miles per hour!!!
Phone Message: miles...
Homer: D'oh, this is ridiculous!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Oh, well, you like ice cream don't you?
Lisa: Uh-huh.
Homer: Don't you like ice cream better when it's covered in hot fudge?... and mounds of whipped cream?... choc nuts, and those crumpled up cookie things they put on top! Mmmmcrumpled up cookie things.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: Uh, mom, could you loosen my blanket a little? Dad tucked me in too tight and it's cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs.
 • Rating: Unrated

Waiter: Hello, I'm Marco, and I'll be your waiter.
Homer: Hello, I'm Homer and I'll be your customer!
Waiter: Hmmhaven't heard that one before.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Boy, I know you're gonna like your present.
Bart's Present: Shuddup, shuddup, kiss my butt, shuddup, go to hell, go to hell!
Bart: Dad, I promise I'll never get tired of this.
 • Rating: Unrated

Moe: I'm sorry Homer, you can't take any more of my money, I'm out of the bookie business.
Barney: But Moe, you've been taking bets all
Moe: Hey Barney, how bout a free beer!
Barney: Wow!
Homer: Don't worry, Moe, I'm not betting.
Moe: What!? Gimmie that.
Barney: Ooow!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lovejoy: Well, I'm glad some people could resist the lure of the big game.
Guy: Oh my god, I forgot the game!
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "The Simpsons" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!