The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes (Page 16)

Season 3 Episode 10: "Flaming Moe's"

Moe: The Flaming Moe is not for sale. Do you know how much of my blood and sweat are in this drink? (everybody in the bar spits out their drink) Uh, figure of speech.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: The inventor I admire is not a rich man or a famous man or even a smart man. He's my father, Homer Simpson.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mayor Quimby: Henceforth, this date shall forever be known as Flaming Moe's Day!
Advisor: Uh, sir, this is already Veterans' Day.
Mayor Quimby: It can be two things!
 • Rating: Unrated

Flaming Moe's Theme Song
When the weight of the world has got you down,
And you want to end your life,
Bills to pay, a dead-end job,
And problems with the wife.
But don't throw in the towel,
'Cuz there's a place right down the block
Where you can drink your misery away
At Flaming Moe's (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's)
When liquor in a mug (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's)
Can warm you like a hug. (Flaming Moe's)
And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away
Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Holy Cow! Homer just fell on Aerosmith!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 9: "Saturdays of Thunder"

Homer: (reading) No matter what you tell your child to do, you will always do the opposite, huh?
Homer's Brain: Don't you get it? You've got to use reverse psychology!
Homer: That sounds too complicated!
Homer's Brain: OK, don't use reverse psychology!
Homer: All right, I will!
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: (To Patty) My friend and I have a bet. Are you Mary Tyler Moore?
(Patty sprays mace in Barney's eyes.)
Barney: Ow! Wow, it really is you!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Patty! Selma! What a pleasant surprise!
Patty: Whaddya know, he's wearing pants!
Selma: I owe you a lunch!
 • Rating: Unrated

Troy McClure: I'm actor Troy McClure. You may remember me
from such TV series as: Buck Henderson: Union Buster and Troy & Company's Summertime Smile Factory.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Oh my god, I don't know jack about my boy! I'm a bad father!
Selma: You're also fat.
Homer: I'm also fat!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Question 1: Name one of your child's friends.
Homer: Lets see uh, Bart's friends, well there's the fat kid with the thing, uh, the little wiener who's always got his hands in his pockets!
Marge: They want a name, Homer, not a vague description!
Homer: Okay....Hank?
Marge: Hank? Hank who?
Homer: Hank....Jones!
Marge: Homer, you made that up.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Marge: Question 2: "Who is your son's hero?"
Homer: Steve McQueen.
Marge: That's your hero! "Name another dad you talk to about parenting."
Homer: Next
Marge: "What are your son's hobbies?"
Homer: Well, he's always chewing on the phone cord.
Marge: He hasn't done that since he was two!
Homer: Then he has no hobbies!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Goodbye son!
Milhouse: Hey, Bart, I think they're finally hauling your dad away!
Bart: Maybe it's for the best.
 • Rating: Unrated

Nelson: Hey, Simpson, where's your loser-mobile!
Homer: Loser mobilehehehewait a minute!
Bart: Uh, It's over there Nelson.
Nelson: Whoa, talk about your pieces of crap!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: What's the quickest, cheapest, easiest way to do something with you?
Lisa: Uh, take us to the video store?
Homer: Anything for my little girl.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Thank you, Bill Cosby. You've saved The Simpsons!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Oh, I don't know if I should do that. My dad and I build our car together, and if I drove somebody else's it'd kill him! On the other hand, I'll do it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Martin: What is the matter with you?
Bart: It's my dad. Lying there on the couch, drinking a beer, staring at the TV... I've never seen him like that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Dad, I don't know how to say this. I don't want to drive your car. It's slow, it's ugly; it handles like a shopping cart.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 8: "Lisa's Pony"

Homer: Hurry, Moe, hurry! I've only got five minutes till the music store closes!
Moe: Well, why don't you go there first?
Homer: Hey, do I tell you how to do your job?!
 • Rating: Unrated

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