The Simpsons

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The simpsons
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Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!

Homer: (Writing a letter to Marge) Also, it has become clear that your family doesn't want me here.
Patty: (Off camera) Shut up with that pen scratching down there!

Mr. Burns: Who was that young hellcat, Smithers?
Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir.
Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? I'll remember that name.

Homer: Wow! What an ending. Who would have thought Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father!
Guy: Oh thank you Mr. Blow the picture for me!

Marge: It's Homer!
Patty: I don't know what you see in that ugly meatball!
Selma: Uh huh, If you like being pawed by something fat and lazy, we could get a cat.
Jacqueline: It would leave less hair on the couch!

Homer: Yeah, sure, for you a baby's all fun and games, for me it's diaper changes and midnight feeding!
Lisa: Shouldn't mom do all that stuff?
Homer: Yeah, but I have to hear about it.

Marge: Well, I guess I better go see Dr. Hibbert.
Homer: Oh honey, do you really think you're pregnant?
Marge: Well, I've had the same nausea and craving for pancake mix I did with the other kids.
Homer: Yeah, and I have the same tightness in my chest and the sweating I always get.

Smithers: (Interviewing Homer) Now, let's say there's a problem with the reactor--
Homer: There's a problem with the reactor?! We're all gonna die!

(On God) Oh, He's always happy. No, wait...he's always mad.

Homer

Then, by the power vested in my by the state gaming commission, I pronounce you man and wife. Here's ten dollars worth of chips. You may kiss the bride. Next!

</i> Minister

Hmm. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear he was trying to moon us.

Dr. Hibbert

Selma: Marge, I've got two and a half words for you: Gulp N' Blow.

Displaying quotes 241 - 252 of 489 in total

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes

Horst: (Sinister) Okay, Mr. Burns, you win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.
Mr. Burns: (Sarcastic) Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans! (Hiding behind Smithers) Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!
Horst: Stop it!
Man: Stop, sir.
Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.
Man: Please stop the "pretending you are scared" game, please.
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Mr. Burns: (Pause) No! They're so big and strong!
Man: Stop it.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Man: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans--
Horst: Burns, Stop it!

Homer: Marge, where's that... metal... dealy... you use to... dig... food?
Marge: You mean a spoon?
Homer: Yeah yeah yeah!