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(After Homer rejects other names for boys based on rhyming nicknames)
Marge: What about Bart?
Homer: Let's see. Bart, dart, cart, e-art. Nope can't see any problems with that.
(Missing fart due to only 4 fingers)

(About Homer) This man not only failed the aptitude test, he got trapped in a closet on the way out.

Smithers

(Homer and Marge are in the castle at the miniature golf course)
Homer: Someday I'll buy you a real castle.
Marge: Oh, you don't have to do that.
Homer: Whoo, good.

Lisa: It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad, we watch an appalling amount of TV.
Homer: Don't you ever, ever talk that way about television!

Burns: These two gentlemen are American as apple pie! Hans and Fritz, why that's just... John and Frank!
Quimby: Ich bin ein Springfielder
Carl: Oh this ain't good!
Homer: We'll all lose our jobs!
Marge: Look at all those worried faces, except for Lenny, he looks great!
Lenny: (with mouth surgery) This is the worst day of my life.

Horst: We plan to have some frank discussions with your safety inspector.
Homer: He he, yeah. Sock it to him, Horst!
Lenny: Hey Homer, aren't you the safety inspector?
Homer: (looks at his badge) D'oh!

Mr. Burns: I wanted to give you something to remember me by, I know you've always had your eye on this photo of Elvis and me!
Smithers: He was so good to mother, sir!
Mr. Burns: Yes, but I couldn't understand a word that man said! (Impersonating Elvis) Mistah Burrs, duhs a boom hang gasson for hound dawg!
Smithers: (Laughing) Stop it, you're killing me sir!

Marge, its not the money, my job is my identity. If I'm not a safety what's-a-ma-jigger, I'm nothing!

Homer

Horst: Zen, you must have some good ideas for ze future as vell?
Homer: I sure do (7 seconds of blank)
Horst: Such az?
Homer: Well uuh... I wish the candy machine wasn't so picky about taking beat-up dollar bills.

Homer: (in the land of chocolate) Wow! Chocolate, half price!... (his dream finishes) la la lalala la...
Horst: Mr. Simpson.....Mr. Simpson
Homer: Huh? oh, sorry, we were talking about chocolate?
Fritz: Zat vas ten minutes ago!

Marge: You spent fifty two hundred dollars on beer?
Homer: Fifty two hundred, what are you talking about? (sees the TV) Oh my god! I sold it all for twenty-five bucks!
Bart: (kicks him in the rear) Come on, everybody, it makes you feel better.

Horst: (Sinister) Okay, Mr. Burns, you win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.
Mr. Burns: (Sarcastic) Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans! (Hiding behind Smithers) Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!
Horst: Stop it!
Man: Stop, sir.
Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.
Man: Please stop the "pretending you are scared" game, please.
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Mr. Burns: (Pause) No! They're so big and strong!
Man: Stop it.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Man: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans--
Horst: Burns, Stop it!

Displaying quotes 253 - 264 of 489 in total

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes

I'll make a wish that can't backfire! I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it! (Homer eats)... Mmm, not bad, nice hot mustard, good bread, turkeys a little dry... THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY!!!

Homer

Horst: (Sinister) Okay, Mr. Burns, you win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.
Mr. Burns: (Sarcastic) Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans! (Hiding behind Smithers) Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!
Horst: Stop it!
Man: Stop, sir.
Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.
Man: Please stop the "pretending you are scared" game, please.
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Mr. Burns: (Pause) No! They're so big and strong!
Man: Stop it.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Man: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans--
Horst: Burns, Stop it!

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