Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Bus Driver: Look lady, this better be good....
Marge: (Starts roaring like a tiger...the driver goes back in the bus)

Radio: It's time for another Bill and Marty Classic Prank Call!
Bill: Hello is this Mr. Chester Sherman?
Chester: Yes.
Bill: Sir your wife is dead!
Chester: Oh...god, no!
Bill: That's right, she just walked through a plate glass window, there's blood everywhere!
Chester: But...but I just talked to her (starts crying)
Bill/Marty: (Laughs)

Homer: Barney! I lost the baby! What am I going to do!?
Barney: Don't worry. Don't worry. Know what I'm going to do? I'm going to make you an omelet.
Homer: Just help me look.
Barney: Are you sure? I make 'em with four kinds of cheese.

Come on kids! Time to rub Aunt Patty's feet!
(Bart and Lisa shudder)

Selma

Homer: Hi Barney, thanks for keeping me company!
Barney: No problem...well, well, if it isn't little Bart! Remember me, your uncle Barney! Hey Homer let me hold him.
Homer: Alright, but just be careful!
Barney: Whoa! Someone smells stinky! Oh it's me!

Lisa: Mom, Bart's making faces at me.
Bart: It's a nervous twitch, and I'm a little sensitive about it, if you don't mind.

Selma: Bart, you'll be sleeping with your Aunt Patty.
Bart: In your bed?
Patty: Uh huh, and I shall warn you, I'm told I snore.

Eddie: She's locked in the car and refuses to move.
Chief Wiggum: Did you flash your lights?
Eddie: Yes.
Chief Wiggum: Well, I'm fresh out of ideas.

Homer: Let me through, let me through! I'm her husband!
Eddie: Well, that explains a lot!

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