The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes (Page 23)

Season 3 Episode 3: "When Flanders Failed"

Akira: We learn karate, so that we need never use it.
Bart: Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchucks?
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: It's all here, and it's all backwards!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Burns: Well, the worm has turned, has it not, my tin-plated friend? Look out, you. You who were once so proud! Feel the wrath of the left hand of Burns!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Hello Jerry, remember last month when I paid back that loan, well now I need you to do a favor for me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: When do we get to break blocks of ice with our heads?
Akira: First you must fill your head with knowledge. Then you can hit ice with it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 2: "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington"

Faith Crowley: These are special VIP badges. They'll get you into places other tourists never see.
Homer: Miss, what does the "I" stand for?
Faith Crowley: Important.
Homer: Ooh. How about the "V"?
Faith Crowley: Very.
Homer: Oh. And Miss, just one more question.
Faith Crowley: Person.
Homer: Ah... What does the "I" stand for again?
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Who would have guessed reading and writing would pay off?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Look, Homer, it's the IRS.
Homer: Boo!
IRS Agent: Oh boo, yourself!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Homer talks with a Reading Digest representative.)
Homer: Ooh, I love your magazine. My favorite section is, "How To Increase Your Word Power." That thing is really, really...really...good.
 • Rating: Unrated

(The Simpson family tours The White House.)
Bart: (Reading plaque) On this spot, Richard Nixon bowled back-to-back 300 games.
Homer: Yeah, right.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: They take hundreds of magazines, filter out the crap, and leave you with something that fits right in your front pocket! (Homer struggles to fit it in his pocket)
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Then I heard the sound that all Arctic explorers dread, the pitiless bark of the sea lion! (gasp) He'll be killed!
Marge: Homer, he obviously got out alive if he wrote the article...
Homer: Don't be so.....(turns the page). Oh you're right.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lady: Are you a professional writer?
Homer: mm, mm... (in a 'no' kinda way)
Lady: Are you interested in politics and government?
Homer: mmmm...(in a 'i dunno' kinda way)
Lady: Are you interested in anything?
Homer: mmmm.. (same as above)
Lady: Could you touch your nose for me?
(Homer twists and bends but doesn't touch his nose)
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Bart: I call first bedsies!
Lisa: Bart, there's no such thing as first bedsies. You just made that up.
Bart: Well, okay. Which one do you want?
Lisa: I ... want ... that one.
Bart: Really? You want that one? Well, it's all yours, whatever you say.
Lisa: Why, what's wrong with it?
Bart: Nothing! Have a good night's sleep, Lisa.
Lisa: No, really, what?!
Bart: Nothing!
Lisa: What did you do to it?
Bart: Nothing!
Lisa: MOOOOOM!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Homer: (the phone rings) What the..... D'oh, stupid welcoming mint! (picks up phone) Yallow!
Bart: Good morning, this is your wake up call!
Homer: Wake up call? It's 2am!
Bart: Sorry fatso!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Give her the check! (the crowd laughs) Oh, I was serious.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: I had a feeling it was too good to be true. Every time you get a million dollars, something queers the deal.
Lisa: I don't think real checks have exclamation points.
 • Rating: Unrated

Burns: Who is that bookworm, Smithers?
Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir.
Burns: Simpson, eh? How very strange. His job description clearly specifies an illiterate!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Oh, Marge, cartoons don't have any deep meaning. They're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh.
 • Rating: Unrated

Steward: Yes, sir, can I get you something?
Homer: Playing cards, note pad, aspirin, sewing kit, pilot's wing pin, propeller-shaped swizzle stick, sleeping mask, and anything else I've got coming to me.
 • Rating: Unrated

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