The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 3 Quotes
Homer: Now, boy, we spent a lot of money, so you'd better get real good real fast, or POW!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Hey, I thought I was supposed to encourage him.
Of course, it would be wrong to suggest this sort of mayhem began with rock-and-roll. After all, there were riots at the premiere of Mozart's "The Magic Flute." So, what's the answer? Ban all music? In this reporter's opinion, the answer, sadly, is 'yes'.
Kent Brockman
Bart: Mom, I wanna be a rockstar.
Marge: Hmmmmm we'll discuss it later. Is Milhouse okay?
Homer: Uh, I'll be right back....
Milhouse: Heeeelp.
Lou: Let's see your license, pal!
Otto: No can-do, never got one. But if you need proof of my identity I wrote my name on my underwear. Oh wait, these aren't mine!
Patty: Ha, ha, ha.
Selma: What's so funny?
Patty: I was just thinking about the time Homer got his nose caught in the toaster.
Selma: We'll watch the tape tonight.
Nelson: Hey Simpson, what are you trying to play?
Bart: Polly-Wally-Doodle.
Nelson: Oh yeah, well it sounds Polly-Wally-Crappy.
Papa Dinosaur: Would you turn off that Rock and Rock music?
Baby Dinosaur: Hey, don't have a Stegosaurus, man!
Lisa: These talking dinosaurs are more real than most real families on TV!
Homer: Look Maggie, they have a baby too!
Homer: Ooh, appetizers!
Sideshow Bob: Well Homer, what should we serve?
Homer: Well, you can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They taste as good as they look, and they come with this delicious red sauce, it looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain't ketchup.
Selma: What did I miss?
Patty: MacGyver was wearing a tank top!
Selma: Dang!
Sideshow Bob: Well Selma, I thought I was the only man in your life?
Selma: Sit down and shut up!
(vision test at the DMV)
Hans Moleman: A, G, Q, 7.
Selma: Close enough. May you drive safely, and find true love.
Sideshow Bob: Selma, would you mind if I did something bold and shocking in front of your family?
Selma: All right, but no tongues.
Sideshow Bob: Although kissing you would be like kissing some divine ashtray, that's not what I had in mind. Selma, will you marry me?
Bart: Don't be a fool, Aunt Selma. That man is scum.
Selma: Then call me Mrs. Scum.
Lisa: I could have been the flower girl; I wouldn't keep falling down, either!
Bart: Hey, they chose Maggie, okay?
Lisa: Yeah, well if you wanna go for cutesiness instead of competence, fine.
