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The-simpsons

Moe: C'mon, Homer, do it for your old pal Moesy.
Barney: But Moe, yesterday you called Homer a worthless sack of --
Moe: Pipe down, rub-a-dub!

Marge, I'm goin' to Moe's. Send the kids to the neighbors, I'm comin' back loaded!

Homer

Homer: The other day, I was so desperate for a beer that I ate the sand under the bleachers at a football game.
Reverend Lovejoy: I cast thee out!

Moe: You'll be back!!! And you, And you (to Barney). And you.
Barney: Of course I'll be back, if you didn't close I'd never leave!

Marge: Homer, I want you to encourage Lisa with her science fair project.
Homer: Yes, syrup is better than jelly.

My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!

Moleman

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

Homer

Judge: Your license is hereby revoked and you are to attend traffic school and two months of AA meetings.
Homer: Your honor, I'd like that last remark stricken from the record.
Judge: No.

Chief Wiggum: Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news; your husband was found DOA.
Marge: Oh my God! He's dead?!
Chief Wiggum: Oh, wait, I mean DWI. I always get those two mixed up.
Mrs. Phillips: My name's Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband's DWI?
Chief Wiggum: Um, why don't you talk to that officer over there? I'm going out to lunch.

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