The Simpsons

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The simpsons

(Watching The Krusty Show)
Bart: I'd give anything to go to that show!
Homer: I'd sell my first-born son!
Bart: Hey!
Homer: You'll do as you're told!

Homer: You know, one day honest citizens are going to stand up to you crooked cops.
Chief Wiggum: They are!? Oh no! Ha-have they set a date?

Lisa: Ralph thinks I like him but I only gave him a valentine because I felt sorry for him.
Homer: Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?

Administrator: And what are your reasons for wanting a little brother?
Homer's Brain: Don't say revenge! Don't say revenge!
Homer: Uh, revenge?
Homer's Brain: That's it, I'm gettin' outta here.
(The sound of footsteps and a door slam.)

Homer: For your information, I'm his father.
Tom: You mean the drunken gambler?
Homer: Yes and who might you be?

Dealer: 19.
Homer: Hit me.
Dealer: 20.
Homer: Hit me.
Dealer: 21.
Homer: Hit me.
Dealer: 22.
Homer: D'oh!

Trab pu kcip! Trab pu kcip!

Milhouse

Corey: Hi, you've reached the Corey hot-line. $4.95 a minute. Here are some words that rhyme with Corey: gory, story, allegory, montessori...

Ned: Hey Homie, I can see your doodle.
Homer: Shut up, Flanders.

Bart: Remember when Tom had you in that headlock and you screamed, "I'm a hemophiliac!," and when he let you go, you kicked him in the back?
Homer: Yeah.
Bart: Will you teach me how to do that?
Homer: Sure, boy. First, you gotta shriek like a woman and keep sobbing until he turns away in disgust. That's when it's time to kick some back. And then when he's lying down on the ground,...
Bart: Yeah.
Homer: Kick him in the ribs.
Bart: Yeah.
Homer: Step on his neck.
Bart: Yeah.
Homer: And run like hell.

Homer: What am I supposed to do!
Homer's Brain: Pick up Bart! Pick up Bart!
Homer: Pick a bar? What the hell is pick a bar?

Lou: There's a couple of guys fighting at the Aquarium Chief.
Chief Wiggum: Do they still sell those frozen bananas?
Lou: I think so.
Chief Wiggum: Lets roll.

Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 396 in total

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer

Lisa's Brain: Poor predictable Bart. Always takes 'rock'.
Bart's Brain: Good ol' 'rock'. Nuthin' beats that!
Bart: Rock!
Lisa: Paper.
Bart: D'oh!

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