The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes (Page 17)

Season 4 Episode 5: "Treehouse of Horror III"

Bart: From A-Apple to Z-Zebra, "Baby's First Pop-up Book" is 26 pages of alphabetic adventure!
Edna: Bart, you mean to tell me you read a book intended for preschoolers?
Bart: Well, most of it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad!
Homer: Did you wreck the car?
Bart: No!
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Lisa: Yes!
Homer: But the car's okay?
Lisa / Bart: Uh-huh.
Homer: All right then.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: To the book depository!
 • Rating: Unrated

Burns: Smithers, this is a golden opportunity. If we get him alive, we can put him on Broadway. Dead, we can sell monkey stew to the army!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Homer finds Barney chomping on a severed arm)
Homer: Barney, not you too!
Barney: I'm not a zombie, but hey, when in Rome.
 • Rating: Unrated

Zombie Flanders: Hey Simpson! I'm feeling a mite peckish. (Evilly) Mind if I chew your ear?
(Homer shoots Ned and the others gasp.)
Bart: Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!
Homer: (Surprised) He was a zombie!?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Homer throws the Krusty doll into a bag of socks.)
Krusty Doll: You think your dirty socks can stop me?! Well, they are...making me...dizzy...ugh!
(Faints)
 • Rating: Unrated

(Homer pulls the Krusty Doll's string.)
Krusty Doll: I'm Krusty the Clown, and I don't like you.
(Homer chuckles.)
Krusty Doll: I'm Krusty the Clown, and I'm going to kill you!
Homer: (Chuckles) Didn't even pull the string that time...
Krusty Doll: I said I'm going to kill you! (Points to Homer) You, Homer Simpson!
Homer: Oh yeah? (Tosses the doll aside) With what?
(The Krusty Doll pops up from the other side of the couch, holding a knife; Homer screams.)
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 4: "Lisa the Beauty Queen"

Homer: Bless those boys.
Marge: Homer, those are ice-cream men.
Homer: (Wiping away a tear) I know.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Willie: Get your Haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Principal Skinner: But first, our second prize winner and the recipient of this handsome shoe buffer... Ned Flanders.
Ned: (gasps)
Homer: Oh it's no fair, we'll never have a buffer!
Marge: We have one at home, you never use it.
Homer: Well, I want that one!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Heyyy thereeee, blimpy boy! Flying through the sky so fancy free!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: You're cute as a bug's ear.
Lisa: Fathers have to say that stuff!
Homer: Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear?
Grampa: No, you're homely as a mule's butt!
Homer: There, see?
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Moe, have you ever felt unattractive?
Moe: Mmmm, no.
Homer: How about you, Barney?
Barney: Not for a second! (*belch*)
 • Rating: Unrated

Larson: Your daughter could be crowned Little Miss Springfield by our host, the Maitre d' of Glee, Krusty the Clown.
Krusty: I heartily endorse this event or product.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Lisa, I know a song that will cheer you up. `There once was an ugly duckling...''
Lisa: So you think I'm ugly?!
Marge: Noooo. No, I meant you were one of the good-looking ducks... that makes fun of the ugly one. Mmmm.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Hey, nobody's prettier than my little girl!
Marge: Mmmmm, you're looking at her through a father's eyes.
Homer: Well if I could gouge out somebody else's eyes and shove them into my my sockets I would; but to me, she's beautiful!
Marge: That is so sweet!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Is that Lisa? Oooo, I gotta call heaven. There's an angel missing!
Bart: And whose your little school friend? Wait a minute... That's Mom!
Marge: I know two fellas who will get a special dinner tonight!
(Bart and Homer high five)
Bart: Dad, do you know anything else about women?
Homer: Nope, that's it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Krusty:
L the losers in her wake,
I the income she will make,
T is for her tooth-filled mouth,
T is for her tooth-filled mouth...
 • Rating: Unrated

Mayor Quimby: Gentlemen, we need to get Lisa Simpson out and Amber Dempsey back in. But this glorified crossing god of a police chief wont get off his big fat can.
Chief Wiggum: Is it okay if I open these potato chips?
 • Rating: Unrated

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