Cops: In Springfield Lyrics:
Bad cops, bad cops.
Bad cops, bad cops.
Bad cops, bad cops.
Bad cops, bad cops.
Springfield cops are on the take,
But what do you expect for the money we make?
Whether in a car or on a horse,
We don't mind using excessive force.
Bad cops, bad cops.
Bad cops, bad cops.

This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a...car of some sort, heading in the direction of...you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

Chief Wiggum

Homer: Ooh, oatmeal, what a delightful treat! Aw, there's a bug in it.
Marge: No there isn't.
Homer: Trust me.
(starts eating bacon)
Bart: Dad, there's a bug on that.
Homer: Meh.

Mr. Burns: That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! (cackles evily) There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers?
Smithers: Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder.
Burns: Damn their oily hides!

Hibbert: I must warn you though, this procedure will cost you upwards of $30,000.
Homer: Aaarrrggh! (collapses)
Hibbert: I'm afraid it's now $40,000.

Call 1-600-DOCTORB. The B is for Bargain!

Dr. Nick

Homer: Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?
Homer: He sold poison milk to school children.

Bed goes up, bed goes down. Bed goes up, bed goes down. Bed goes up, bed goes down.

Homer

Homer: And Lisa...
Bart: (whispers into Homer's ear)
Homer: I guess this is the time to tell you...
Bart: (whispers into Homer's ear)
Homer:...that you're adopted and I don't like you..... BART!

Moe: Now let's have a minute of silent prayer for our good friend, Homer Simpson.
Barney: How long has it been?
Moe: Six seconds.
Barney: Do we have to start over?
Moe: Hell no.

The knee bone's connected to the something. The something's connected to the red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch... Uh oh.

Dr. Nick

Marge: There's going to be twice as much love in this house as there is now!
Homer: We're going to start doing it in the morning?!

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Mayor Quimby: And, uh, may the Force be with you.
Leonard Nimoy: You have no idea who I am, do you?
Mayor Quimby: Sure, I do. You're one of the Little Rascals, right?

Leonard Nimoy: A solar eclipse: the cosmic ballet goes on.
Man sitting next to Nimoy: Does anybody want to switch seats?