The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons

Krusty: You people are pigs! I personally am going to spit in every fiftieth burger!
Homer: I like those odds.

Homer: Wow. A baby and a free burger. Could this be the best day of my life?
TV Announcer: Next up, an hour-long episode of "Mama's Family."
Homer: Yes!

Ned: Suppertime, boys!
Rod: Oh boy! Liver!
Todd: Iron helps us play!

Marge: Maggie, can you say ba-ba? Can you say mama?
Bart: Can you say get bent?
Marge: Bart!
Bart: Mr. Rogers says it all the time.
Marge: He does not!

Homer: Maggie, can you say daddy? Daddy?
Marge: Kitty. Kitty.
Lisa: Be-bop. Be-bop.
Bart: Shove it. Shove it.

Lisa: It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Homer's Brain: What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.
Homer: Takes one to know one.
Homer's Brain: Swish!

When the working day is done, girls just wanna have fu-hun. That's all we really waaaant.

Homer

Marge: Then the prince and the princess... got married and lived happily ever after.
Bart: Then what happened?
Marge: Uh...they had thirty sons and thirty daughters.
Bart: What were their names?
Marge: Hmm...Dennis...Brad...Mavis...Brad...(falls alseep)

Homer: I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's crib and Bart'll sleep with us until he's 21.
Marge: Won't that warp him?
Homer: My cousin Frank did it.
Marge: You don't have a cousin Frank.
Homer: He became Francine back in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now.

Selma: Hey Bart, want a dollar? Uh uh uh, you know what I wanna hear.
Bart: I'm a little teapot short and stout, this is my handle this is my spout. The incy wincy spider went up the water spout...
Selma: Oh yeah! Love that spout medley.

Bart: Hey Homer ,this house sucks!
Homer: Bart, I told you not to use that word. Call me daddy!

Ned: If you need anything just give a whistle.
Homer: I could use a TV tray.
Ned: Well, gee...
Homer: What?
Ned: Uh, I just this minute bought it at the hardware...
Homer: You said "anything".
Ned: Heh, sure, you can borrow it for...a little while.
--
Homer: And that little while is now eight years and counting.

Displaying quotes 217 - 228 of 396 in total

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer

Lisa's Brain: Poor predictable Bart. Always takes 'rock'.
Bart's Brain: Good ol' 'rock'. Nuthin' beats that!
Bart: Rock!
Lisa: Paper.
Bart: D'oh!

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