The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Krusty: You people are pigs! I personally am going to spit in every fiftieth burger!
Homer: I like those odds.

Homer: Wow. A baby and a free burger. Could this be the best day of my life?
TV Announcer: Next up, an hour-long episode of "Mama's Family."
Homer: Yes!

Ned: Suppertime, boys!
Rod: Oh boy! Liver!
Todd: Iron helps us play!

Marge: Maggie, can you say ba-ba? Can you say mama?
Bart: Can you say get bent?
Marge: Bart!
Bart: Mr. Rogers says it all the time.
Marge: He does not!

Homer: Maggie, can you say daddy? Daddy?
Marge: Kitty. Kitty.
Lisa: Be-bop. Be-bop.
Bart: Shove it. Shove it.

Lisa: It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Homer's Brain: What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.
Homer: Takes one to know one.
Homer's Brain: Swish!

When the working day is done, girls just wanna have fu-hun. That's all we really waaaant.

Homer

Marge: Then the prince and the princess... got married and lived happily ever after.
Bart: Then what happened?
Marge: Uh...they had thirty sons and thirty daughters.
Bart: What were their names?
Marge: Hmm...Dennis...Brad...Mavis...Brad...(falls alseep)

Homer: I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's crib and Bart'll sleep with us until he's 21.
Marge: Won't that warp him?
Homer: My cousin Frank did it.
Marge: You don't have a cousin Frank.
Homer: He became Francine back in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now.

Selma: Hey Bart, want a dollar? Uh uh uh, you know what I wanna hear.
Bart: I'm a little teapot short and stout, this is my handle this is my spout. The incy wincy spider went up the water spout...
Selma: Oh yeah! Love that spout medley.

Bart: Hey Homer ,this house sucks!
Homer: Bart, I told you not to use that word. Call me daddy!

Ned: If you need anything just give a whistle.
Homer: I could use a TV tray.
Ned: Well, gee...
Homer: What?
Ned: Uh, I just this minute bought it at the hardware...
Homer: You said "anything".
Ned: Heh, sure, you can borrow it for...a little while.
--
Homer: And that little while is now eight years and counting.

Displaying quotes 217 - 228 of 396 in total

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer

I've got some joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. (Where?) Down in my heart to stay! And if the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack. (Ouch!) Sit on a tack. (Ouch!)

Rod/Todd