The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes (Page 19)

Season 4 Episode 3: "Homer the Heretic"

Insurance Guy: Any valuables in the house?
Homer: Well, the Picasso, my collection of classic cars--
Insurance Guy: Sorry, this policy only covers actual losses, not made-up stuff.
Homer: Well that's just great!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ned: Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.
Reverend Lovejoy: No, but He was working in the hearts of your friends and
neighbors when they came to your aid, be they Christian (Ned), Jew (Krusty), or ... miscellaneous (Apu).
Apu: Hindu! There are 700 million of us.
Reverend Lovejoy: Aw, that's super.
 • Rating: Unrated

God: (To Homer) Now if you'll excuse me, I have to appear on a tortilla in Mexico.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: You bet your sweet...(looks around)...ass! Heh, heh, heh!
 • Rating: Unrated

Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, you remember Matthew 21-27, "The Foolish man who built his house on sand".
Homer: And you remember Matthew...21-17?
Reverend Lovejoy: And he left them, and went out of the city into Bethany; and he lodged there?
Homer: Yeah...(regains confidence) think about it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: God, I gotta ask you something. What's the meaning of life?
God: Homer, I can't tell you that.
Homer: C'mon!
God: You'll find out when you die.
Homer: I can't wait that long!
God: You can't wait six months?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Apu: You are on your honor not to steal anything.
Kearny: (lying and eating a box of cereal) Oh we won't.
Apu looks at them for a moment and then puts a little boy on the counter.
Apu: Little Jamshed, the store is in your hands.
Little Jamshed: Oh, how I have waited for this day. (whips out a shot gun and cocks it.)
Kearny's shocked as his mouth hangs open and he drops the box of cereal.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Boy, everyone is stupid except me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Hey, where's Homer?
Marge: Your father is... resting.
Bart: Resting "hung over," resting "got fired," come on, help me out here!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 2: "A Streetcar Named Marge"

Sinclair: Tonight you'll be transformed to dead-eyed suburbanites, to white hot grease fires of pure entertainment. (To Otto) Except you, you're not working out. I'll be playing your part.
Otto: Drag.
 • Rating: Unrated

Apu: (Singing)
I am just a lonely paperboy,
No romance do I seek;
I just wanted forty cents for my
Deliveries last week;
Will this bewitching floozy
Seduce this humble newsie?
Oh, what's a paperboy to do?
 • Rating: Unrated

Lou: Hello! I am Llewellyn Sinclair. I've directed three plays in my career and I've had three heart attacks. That's how much I care, I'm planning for a fourth.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Are there any Jive-Talking Robots in this play?
Marge: Um, I don't think so.
Homer: Bart, don't ask stupid questions... Is there any frontal nudity?
Marge: No, Homer!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ms. Sinclair: Mrs. Simpson, do you know what a baby is saying when she reaches for her bottle?
Marge:....Baba?
Ms. Sinclair: She's saying "I am a leech".
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: (in a southern accent) The play's tomorrow night. I've got to stay in charactah.
Lisa: (in a southern accent) Hey mom, would it help if I talked lack this tew?
Marge: (in a southern accent) It maght.
Bart: (in a cockney accent) En I'll talk like 'is. Bob's ya uncle mate.
Marge: (in a southern accent) That really doesn't help, Baaht.
Bart: (in a cockney accent) Can I slog off school tomorra. Gotta pain in me gulliva!
Homer: I'm livin' in a cuckoo clock!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: I haven't been in a play since high school, and I thought it would be a good chance to meet some other adults.
Homer: Sounds interesting.
Marge: You know, I spend all day alone with Maggie, and sometimes it's like I don't even exist.
Homer: Sounds interesting.
 • Rating: Unrated

Troy McClure: If you ask me they're all winners. We'll be cutting our first 40 contestants right after this.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 1: "Kamp Krusty"

Bart: Krusty! This camp was a nightmare! They fed us gruel, they forced us to make wallets for export, and one of the campers was eaten by a bear!
Krusty: Oh my God!!
Bart: Well, actually, the bear just ate his hat.
Krusty: Was it a nice hat?
Bart: Oh yeah.
Krusty: Oh My God!!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kearney: Here's your cabin. If you don't like it, T.S.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lisa: You're serving us gruel?
Dolph: Not quite. This is "Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel." Nine out on ten orphans can't tell the difference.
 • Rating: Unrated

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