The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 4 Quotes
Krusty: Now boys, the network has a problem with some of your lyrics. Do you mind changing them for the show?
Anthony: Forget you, clown.
Chad: Yeah, our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.
Krusty: Well okay, but here where it says, "What I got you gotta get and put it in ya," how about just, "What I'd like is I'd like to hug and kiss ya."
Flea: Wow. That's much better.
Arik: Everyone can enjoy that.
Bart: I didn't know you knew Luke Perry.
Krusty: Know him? He's my worthless half-brother.
Lisa: He's a big TV star.
Krusty: Yeah, on Fox. (Sticks out tounge)
Rainier: My son returns from a fancy east coast college and I'm horrified to find he's a nerd.
Kent: Haha, I'm laughing already.
Rainier: It's not a comedy.
Bette Midler: Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I would like to be.
Krusty: You can fly higher than an eagle.
Bette/Krusty: Cause you/I are/am the wind beneath my/your wings.
Gabbo: (prank calls Krusty the Clown)
Krusty: If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!
Krusty: Here's the deal. Every time you watch my show, I will send you... forty dollars!
Voice: Checks will not be honored.
I'll admit I used the city treasury to fund the murder of my enemies, but as Gabbo would say, I'm a bad wittle boy.
Mayor Quimby
Bart: Moe, look over there! (as a distraction)
Moe: What? What am I looking at? I don't see nothing. I'm gonna stop looking soon What? What, is that it?
Homer walks into Moe's Tavern
Homer: Hey Moe, can I look, too?
Moe: Sure, but it'll cost ya.
Homer: My wallet's in the car.
Homer runs out
Moe: He is so stupid. And now back to the wall.
Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I- uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidently" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."
Lawyer: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Who do you find more attractive? Tom Cruise or Mel Gibson?
Judge: What is the point of all this?
Lawyer: I feel so confident of Marge Simpson's guilt that I can waste the court's time by rating the super hunks.
It seems like I've been wearing this same red dress forever!
Lisa
Ned: Now Marge don't you worry, we've all had our brushes with the law.
(remembers)
Cop: Are you Ed Flanders?
Ned: No, Ned Flanders.
Cop: My mistake.
