Choir: Oh Whacking Day!
Oh Whacking Day!
Our hallowed snake skull-cracking day!
Boy: We'll break their backs
Gouge out their eyes
Their evil hearts we'll pulverize!
Choir: Oh Whacking Day!
Oh Whacking Day!
May God bestow His grace on thee.

Principal Skinner: May I interest you in a jello brick, sir? There's a grape in the center.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, I'm not made of stone.

Dondelinger: Welcome to Remedial Science 1A. My wife recently passed away. I thought that maybe teaching would ease my loneliness.
Homer: Will this be on the test?
Dondelinger: No!
Homer: Ohhh. (Erases note from his cheat sheet)

Homer: Alright brain. You don't like me and I don't like you. But let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer
Homer's Brain: It's a deal.

Bart: Didn't you wonder why you were getting checks for doing nothing?
Grampa: I figured it was because the Demmie-crats were back in power.

Bart: What are you going to change your name to when you grow up?
Lisa: Lois Sanborn.
Bart: Steve Bennett.

Lisa's Brain: Poor predictable Bart. Always takes 'rock'.
Bart's Brain: Good ol' 'rock'. Nuthin' beats that!
Bart: Rock!
Lisa: Paper.
Bart: D'oh!

Homer's Brain: This is it, Homer. It's time to tell her the terrible secret from your past.
Homer: Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom.
Marge: Oh, my God!
Homer's Brain: No, the other secret!
Homer: Marge, I never graduated from High School.
Marge: Well, that still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. Wait, maybe it does.

Lisa: Grampa, how did you take off your underwear without taking off your pants?
Grampa: I don't know!

(Typing a letter) Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.

Grampa

Eh, I could pull a better cartoon out of my a...heheheh-hey! Whoa! Wasn't that great, kids?

Krusty

They fought, and bit, they fought and fought and bit, fought fought fought, bit bit bit, it was the Itchy & Scratchy show.

Itchy & Scratchy Ending Theme

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer

Get your Haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds!

Willie