The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 5 Quotes
Lisa: I propose to you that your heir not need be a boy. In this phallocentric society of ours--
Mr. Burns: I don't know what phallocentric means, but no girls!
Milhouse: (dressed as a girl) So much for Plan B.
Mr. Burns: I specifically said, no geeks!
Milhouse: But my mom says I'm cool...
Turn it up! Turn it up!!
</i> Grandpa
Helen Lovejoy: That animal of yours is certainly bad-tempered.
Lisa: Yeah, well you'd be grumpy, too if you were taken out of your natural habitat and gawked at by a bunch of slack-jawed yokels.
Cletus: (Pointing at Lisa) Hey, Ma! Look at that pointed-haired-ed little girl! (Chuckles)
Now I've had my head in an elephant, a hippo, and a giant sloth.
Homer
Marge: (referring to Stampy) Homer... it looks like it could gore.
Homer: (chuckles) It does look like Al Gore.
Marge: (Talking about Stampy) Gosh, I thought he'd be happier in his true habitat.
Warden: Oh, I think he is.
Marge: Then why is he attacking all those other elephants?
Warden: Well, animals are not like people, Mrs. Simpson. Some of them act badly because they've had a hard life, or have been mistreated. But, like people, some of them are just jerks--Stop that, Mr. Simpson.
(The camera pans to show Homer repeatedly head butting the warden.)
Chief Wiggum: Help! Help us! They stole our uniforms guns and tazers!
Snake: (in a police uniform) Ohhhhh, Fry piggy. (charges tazer)
Chief Wiggum: No, no -- no don't -- aargh! Aargh! A little to the left... aah, that's the stuff.
I'm tired. I'm hungry. Can't we just get a new house?
Bart
Moe: Hey Clinton, get back to work!
Bill Clinton: Bite me.
Grampa: Hey, they're playing the elephant song.
Jasper: I love that. Reminds me of elephants.
I only have two questions... how much and give it to me.
Homer
