The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes
Moe: Hey Clinton, get back to work!
Bill Clinton: Bite me.
- Permalink: Hey Clinton, get back to work! Bite me.
Homer: Look at this, Marge! $58 and all of it profit! I'm the smartest businessman in the world.
Marge: Stampy's food bill today was $300.
Homer: Marge, please, don't humiliate me in front of the money.
- Permalink: Look at this, Marge! $58 and all of it profit! I'm the smartest ...
Lisa: You're all forgetting the most important thing! Which is that it's wrong to imprison an animal!
Homer: Lisa, go to your room.
- Permalink: You're all forgetting the most important thing! Which is that it...
Homer: Well, these bills will have to paid out of your allowance.
Bart: You'd have to raise my allowance to about a $1000 a week.
Homer: Then that's what I'll do, smart guy.
- Permalink: Well, these bills will have to paid out of your allowance. You...
Now I've had my head in an elephant, a hippo, and a giant sloth.Homer
- Permalink: Now I've had my head in an elephant, a hippo, and a giant sloth.
Helen Lovejoy: That animal of yours is certainly bad-tempered.
Lisa: Yeah, well you'd be grumpy, too if you were taken out of your natural habitat and gawked at by a bunch of slack-jawed yokels.
Cletus: (Pointing at Lisa) Hey, Ma! Look at that pointed-haired-ed little girl! (Chuckles)
- Permalink: That animal of yours is certainly bad-tempered. Yeah, well you...
Marge: (Talking about Stampy) Gosh, I thought he'd be happier in his true habitat.
Warden: Oh, I think he is.
Marge: Then why is he attacking all those other elephants?
Warden: Well, animals are not like people, Mrs. Simpson. Some of them act badly because they've had a hard life, or have been mistreated. But, like people, some of them are just jerks--Stop that, Mr. Simpson.
(The camera pans to show Homer repeatedly head butting the warden.)
- Permalink: Gosh, I thought he'd be happier in his true habitat. Oh, I thi...
I only have two questions... how much and give it to me.Homer
- Permalink: I only have two questions... how much and give it to me.
Grampa: Hey, they're playing the elephant song.
Jasper: I love that. Reminds me of elephants.
- Permalink: Hey, they're playing the elephant song. I love that. Reminds m...
(Homer hits a steel deer statue with his car)
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer!
- Permalink: D'oh! A deer! A female deer!
Heh, heh. Shazzam.Homer
- Permalink: Heh, heh. Shazzam.
Chief Wiggum: Help! Help us! They stole our uniforms guns and tazers!
Snake: (in a police uniform) Ohhhhh, Fry piggy. (charges tazer)
Chief Wiggum: No, no -- no don't -- aargh! Aargh! A little to the left... aah, that's the stuff.
- Permalink: Help! Help us! They stole our uniforms guns and tazers! Ohhhh...
Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
- Permalink: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles tri...
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
- Permalink: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut! Twenty dollars can buy...