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I just don't want to be here, Dad. Besides, I started a fire this morning that I really should keep an eye on.


Mr. Burns: Now that you've agreed to reap the windfall of my death, I must return to my large, empty mansion to rattle around and await the inevitable ... alone.
Marge: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Homer: Yeah. Let's push him down the steps.

Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.


Oh my God, Mr. Burns is dead! Why do the good always die so young?


Bart: (reading cue cards) Hello, Mr... Kurns. I bad want... money now. Me sick.
Homer: Ooh, he card reads good.

He's the perfect one to suckle at my proverbial teat.

Mr. Burns

I've argued in front of every judge in this state. Often as a lawyer.

Lionel Hutz

Mr. Burns: I suggest you leave immediately.
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

(pleading for his job without using the letter 'e') I'm a good work... guy.

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