The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes
Moe: Hey Clinton, get back to work!
Bill Clinton: Bite me.
Marge: (referring to Stampy) Homer... it looks like it could gore.
Homer: (chuckles) It does look like Al Gore.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get.Homer
Blackheart: All right, I'll be back in the morning to pick up Stampy.
Homer: Here's the keys.
Blackheart: Elephants don't have keys.
Homer: Well, I'll just keep these then.
Lisa: You're all forgetting the most important thing! Which is that it's wrong to imprison an animal!
Homer: Lisa, go to your room.
It's okay. There's no sugar in Pixie sticks.Bart
Marge, I think I hate Ted Koppel. No, wait. I find him informative and witty.Homer
Marge: Homer! Are you planning to hit Ned Flanders with that pipe and steal his tickets?
Ned: (answers door) Huh? (Homer ges ready to hit him, but changes his mind)
Homer: Oh. Flanders, I decided I'd like to go to the game with you.
Ned: Well, get out the Crayolas and color me "Tickled Pink". Ooh, what's with the lead pipe, were you going to give my noggin a flogging?
Homer: Well, yeah.
(they both laugh)
Lenny: Hey, look! Homer's got one of those robot cars.
Carl: One of those American robot cars.
Ned: Homer, I'd love to chitty-chat, but tonight's the night I do my charity work.
Homer: Oh yeah. The judge made me do that once too. Stupid lack of public urinals.
Homer: Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. (She scrapes it down with a broom.)
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but--(Eats waffle)--Mmm... sacrilicious.
Kent Brockman: Springfield has come down with a fever . . . Football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take two tickets and see the game Sunday morning.
TV Voiceover: Warning, tickets should not be taken internally.
Homer: See, because of me, now they have a warning.