The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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TV Announcer: (after the Itchy and Scratchy episode) VIEWER ADVISORY: The preceding program contained scenes of extreme violence and should not have been viewed by young children.

Well, here I am, right on time. I don't see Barney "Let's crash the rocket into the White House and kill the President" Gumble...

Homer

The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes. Wait a minute... Statue of Liberty... that was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to Hell!

Homer

Scientist: Maybe we should finally tell them the big secret -- that all the chimps we sent into space came back super-intelligent.
(A chair swivels round, revealing a Chimp in a suit)
Chimp: No, I don't think we'll be telling them that.

Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya. (Smithers whispers to him) And by that, I mean, it's time for the worker of the week award.

Mr. Burns

You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day I kept saying, 'I'll go a little later. I'll go a little later.' And then when I got there, they told me he'd just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he would ever come back again, he said he didn't know. Well, I'm never going to let something like that happen again! I'm going into space right now!

Homer

Well, this reporter was ... possibly a little hasty earlier and would like to reaffirm his allegiance to this country and its human president. It may not be perfect, but it's the best government we have. For now.

Kent Brockman

Lisa: Come on, Dad. You can make it!
Grampa: Oh, of course he'll make it, it's TV.

Default? Woohoo! The two sweetest words in the English language!

Homer

Scientist: Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet the two experienced astronauts who will accompany the winner into space, Race Banyon and Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the moon.
Buzz: Second comes right after first!

(singing) Sweet dreams and flying machines, in pieces on the ground. Oops. Uh, sweet dreams and flying machines, flying safely through the air.

James Taylor

(The family watches Homer's launch on TV.)
Bart: Go, Dad, go!
Lisa: How doth the hero, strong and brave, a celestial path to the heavens paved!
(The family stares at her.)
Lisa: Go, Dad, go.

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 624 in total

The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa