The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes
I shouldn't be listening to complaints, I should be making them with you guys! The good Lord lets us grow old for a reason; to gain the wisdom to find fault with everything He's made.Grampa
- Permalink: I shouldn't be listening to complaints, I should be making them ...
Lisa: This is great. They're really going to sell our doll!
Stacy Lavelle: Well, it wasn't difficult. I just told them who I was, and who you were, and they couldn't resist.
Stacy Lavelle: Well, I didn't tell them who you were.
- Permalink: This is great. They're really going to sell our doll! Well, it...
I'd be mortified if someone ever made a lousy product with the Simpson name on it.Lisa
- Permalink: I'd be mortified if someone ever made a lousy product with the S...
Stacy Lavelle: We'll call her Lisa Lionheart.
Bart: No, Loudmouth Lisa! Stupid Lisa Garbage Face! I can't take this anymore! Somebody pay attention to me! Look at me!
- Permalink: We'll call her Lisa Lionheart. No, Loudmouth Lisa! Stupid Lisa...
Grampa: I leave these: a box of mint-condition 1918 liberty-head silver dollars. You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in Zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J. D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run out of the house with a big washtub and--Where are you going?
Homer: Dad, we'd love to stay here and listen to your amusing antidote, but we have to take these coins to the mall and spend 'em!
- Permalink: A box of mint-condition 1918 liberty-head silver dollars. You se...
Grampa: And to my son Homer--
Grampa: --and his entire family--
- Permalink: And to my son Homer-- Woo-hoo! --and his entire family-- D...
We need some more secret sauce. Put this mayonnaise in the sun.Mr. Peterson
- Permalink: We need some more secret sauce. Put this mayonnaise in the sun.
What's eatin' you, Abe? For three weeks all you've been talking about is meeting Matlock. Now you've met him, swiped his pills (reads label) "Take one every hour to prevent spastic heart convulsions" (An ambulance drives by with its siren blaring inside a doctor yells out "Clear!") but you ain't said a word.Jasper
- Permalink: What's eatin' you, Abe? For three weeks all you've been talking ...
Lisa: They cannot keep making dolls like this...something has to be done!
Marge: Lisa, ordinarily I'd say you should stand up for what you believe in. But you've been doing that an awful lot lately!
Bart: Yeah. You made us march in that gay rights parade!
Homer: And we can't watch FOX because they own those chemical weapon plants in Syria.
- Permalink: They cannot keep making dolls like this...something has to be do...
Lisa: Thanks for buying us these toys, Grampa.
Grampa: Ehh, why didn't you get something useful, like storm windows, or a nice pipe organ? I'm thirsty! Ew, what smells like mustard? There sure a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood. Oh! Look at that one.
(Homer parks the car in the driveway; everyone jumps out except Grampa.) Grampa: Ow, my glaucoma just got worse. The president is a Demmycrat. (Everyone rushes into the house) Hello? I can't unbuckle my seat belt. Hello? (Honks horn repeatedly)
- Permalink: Thanks for buying us these toys, Grampa. Ehh, why didn't you g...
Girl #1: Look! Achy Breaky Stacy for a dollar ninety-nine!
Girl #2: Live from the Improv Stacy's only eighty-nine cents!
Girl #1 / #2: Ewwwww!
- Permalink: Look! Achy Breaky Stacy for a dollar ninety-nine! Live from th...
Tour Guide: Welcome to "Enchantment Lane" where all the parts come together and Malibu Stacy is born. Some folks say there's a little touch of fairy dust in the air.
(Scene changes to tough looking man assembling dolls)
Man: Aw, crap. There's a clog in the torso chute!!! Leroy! Get your ass in gear.
- Permalink: Welcome to Enchantment Lane where all the parts come together an...
Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
- Permalink: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles tri...
You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.Grampa
- Permalink: You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song t...