The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes (Page 21)

Season 5 Episode 8: "Boy-Scoutz N the Hood"

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Boy, a man on a Squishee bender can sure do some crazy things.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Hibbert: Don't thank me - thank the knife!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Ooh, floor pie!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ned Flanders: I guess now we know why they call them rapids and not 'slow-pids', huh?
Bart: Ha ha ha!
Homer: (to Bart) You are not my son!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Aw, I'm out of money.
Milhouse: Don't say that out loud.
(Security men watching them on TV screens.)
Security Man: Caucasian males out of money in sector four. Go to code red.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Oh, man, how are we supposed to kill the rest of the afternoon?
Bum: You mustn't kill time, boys, you must cherish it. Seize the day! Can I have some change to go get loaded?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Nelson: What's in the bag, wuss? (grabs it from Bart) Oh, look, Campers Pampers.
(Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney appear, and they start to play "Keep Away.")
Bart: Yeah, whatever. (walks away)
Jimbo: Uh You better pretend you want your uniform back, twerp!
(The bullies begin to play "Keep Away" again.)
Bart: Oh, no. Woe is me. My precious uniform.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ned: Well, it's Bart Simpson...come on in! You're just in time for "Sponge Bath the Old Folks" Day!
Jasper: Help yourself...but stay above the equator!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Well, if it isn't the leader of the wiener patrol, boning up on his nerd lessons.
Marge: Homer, you should be more supportive.
Homer: You're right, Marge. Good work, boy. (ruffles his hair while Marge leaves) (singing) Egghead likes his booky-books!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Just tucking him in.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Bart: (Thinking) Look, Homer won't want to go, so just ask him and he'll say no. Then it'll be his fault.
Homer: (Thinking) I don't want to go, so if he asks me to go, I'll just say, yes!
Homer's Brain: Wait! Are you sure that's how this sort of thing works?
Homer: Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!
Bart: (Through clenched teeth) Dad, I really want you to come on this trip with me.
Homer: (Through clenched teeth) Bart, I'd be delighted to go on your trip with you.
Bart & Homer: D'oh!
 • Rating: Unrated

Captain McCallister: Arr, here be a fine vessel, the yarest river-going boat there be.
Homer: I'll take it!
(The raft sinks.)
Captain McCallister: (Sadly) Arr, I don't know what I'm doing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Son, there was something I was going to give you at the end of this trip, but since we may not survive, I want you to have it now.
Bart: A real Swiss Army knife! Cool!
Homer: I stole it from that Borgnine guy.
(Scene switches to the other campers confronted with a bear.)
Ernest Borgnine: Don't worry, kids! I'll take care of him with my trusty (searches for his knife)er, er, um, er, uh, hmm.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Oh, what does it matter? We're doomed!
Ned: (Sees a seagull) Wrong, we're saved! Seagulls always stay near land! They only go out to sea to die!
(The seagull squawks as it lands in the water and dies.)
Homer: Woo-hoo! See that, boy?! Your old man was right, not Flanders! We are doomed! (Points to Ned) In your face, Flanders!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 7: "Bart's Inner Child"

Krusty: There once was a man named Enos
 • Rating: Unrated

People in Audience: Be like boy! Be like boy! Be like boy!
Senior Citizens: (in the back) We like Roy! We like Roy!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

James Brown: Wait a minute. This bandstand wasn't double-bolted!
Construction Guy: I didn't feel like doing it.
Homer: Right on, brother!
Marge: I don't want to judge the rightness of your ego orientation, but my inner critic is telling me you should have done your job.
 • Rating: Unrated

Moe: They're headed for the old mill!
Homer: No we're not!
Moe: Well then, let's go to the old mill anyway to get some cider!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brad Goodman: And soon you're not a human being, you're a human do-ing. Then what comes next?
Bart: A human go-ing!
 • Rating: Unrated

Principal Skinner: Damn! They're very slowly getting away!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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