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The-simpsons

Lisa: If I ever become famous, I want it to be for something worthwhile, not because of some obnoxious fad.
Bart: Obnoxious fad?
Homer: Aw, don't worry, son. You know, they said the same thing about Urkel--that little snot boy! I'd like to smash that kid!

Don't listen to him, kid. This is a dream factory, the birthplace of magic, an enchantment! Now, I need you to go clean out my toilet.

Krusty

Homer: Yes son, you can have an electric guitar just like your old man!
Bart: Dad, I'm asking if I can get a job.
Homer: Gig, son. When you're a musician, a job is called a gig.

Fifty-six boxes of bottles of beer on the wall, fifty-six boxes of bottles of beer, you take one down and pass it around, fifty-five boxes of bottles of beer on the wall!

</i> Principal Skinner and Martin

Milhouse: (pointing out the window) What's that building over there?
Box Factory Tour Guide: That's just a TV studio where they film Krusty the Clown and other non-box-related programs. Since it has nothing to do with boxes, I'll just shut these blinds.

Bart: Have any of the workers had their hands cut off by the machinery?
Factory Worker: No.
Bart: And then the hand started crawling around and tried to strangle everybody?
Factory Worker: No, that has never happened.
Bart: Any popped eyeballs?
Factory Worker: I'm not sure what kind of factory you're thinking of.

Bart: (after his 15th minute of fame is up) What happened?
Krusty: Oh, don't worry about that. You're just finished, that's all.

Bart: (while Lisa's daydreaming) Come back, Lis! Come back!
Lisa: Why? I'm so much happier here

Kent Brockman: Yeah, I know I'm on...but I don't care! I don't read the news until I get my danish. Go ahead, try to find a replacement.
Bumblebee Guy: A powerful tidal wave in Kuala Lumpur has killed 120 people. Aye Chihuahua!

Krusty: Bart! I need to use you in a sketch.
Bart: You want me to be on the show?
Krusty: It's just one line. Mel's supposed to say it, but he's dead.
Bart: Dead?!
Krusty: Or sick. I don't know. I forget.

Oh and here's my office. If you will direct your eyes to the floor, you'll see a yellow line. Follow it! It will lead you around my desk, and back out the door.

Factory Worker

I didn't do it!

Bart
Displaying quotes 265 - 276 of 624 in total

The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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