Homer: Hello, Police? Are you sitting down? Good! I wish to report a robbery.
Chief Wiggum: (bored) A robbery, right. Thanks for the report. (hangs up) That's another one, Lou 723 Evergreen Terrace. (Looks at a map with the robbery locations marked on it) Well, there doesn't seem to be any pattern yet, but if I take this one and move it hereand I move these over here hello! It almost looks like an arrow!
Lou: Hey, look, Chief: it's pointing right at this police station.
Chief Wiggum: Let's get out of here!

• Permalink: Hello, Police? Are you sitting down? Good! I wish to report a ro...
• Added: August 06, 2010

People can come up with statistics to prove anything Kent. Forty percent of people know that!

Homer

• Permalink: People can come up with statistics to prove anything Kent. Forty...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Oh my God! Underage kids drinking without a permit!

Homer

• Permalink: Oh my God! Underage kids drinking without a permit!
• Added: August 06, 2010

Thank you for coming. I'll see you in Hell!

Apu

• Permalink: Thank you for coming. I'll see you in Hell!
• Added: August 06, 2010

Kent Brockman: When cat burglaries start, can mass murders be far behind? This reporter isn't saying that the burglar is an inhuman monster like the Wolfman, but he very well could be. So, professor: would you say it's time for everyone to panic?
Professor: Yes I would, Kent.

• Permalink: Would you say it's time for everyone to panic? Yes I would, Ke...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Marge: I don't think the guns are a good idea!
Homer: Marge! We're responsible adults a--
(Gun shot)
Moe: Whoops!
Homer: And if a group of responsible adults can't handle firearms in a responsible way--
(Gun shot)
Captain McCallister: Sorry!
(gun shot)
Principal Skinner: Uh oh!
(Gun shot)
Moe: Me again...
(Gun shot)
Bart: Sorry.

• Permalink: I don't think the guns are a good idea! Marge! We're responsib...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Bart: The burglar even took my stamp collection!
Lisa: You! Had a stamp collection!? (everybody laughs *phone rings*)
Nelson: Stamp collection!? Haha!

• Permalink: The burglar even took my stamp collection! You! Had a stamp co...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Grampa: You see? Old people aren't so useless after all. Malloy's old and he outsmarted the lot of you. And I'm even older and I outsmarted him. (Laughs)
Moe: Shut up.
Grampa: I've had my moment.

• Permalink: You see? Old people aren't so useless after all. Malloy's old an...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Homer: We'll be right back!
Kent Brockman: You don't get to say that!

• Permalink: We'll be right back! You don't get to say that!
• Added: August 06, 2010

Jimbo: You let me down, man! Now I don't believe in nothin'! I'm goin' to law school!
Homer: NOOOOOOOO!!!

• Permalink: You let me down, man! Now I don't believe in nothin'! I'm goin' ...
• Added: August 06, 2010

(inside a very large hole)
Mayor Quimby: Mmm, I guess we're not gonna find anything.
Otto: Well how we gonna get outta here?
Homer: We'll dig our way out!
Chief Wiggum: No, no, dig up, stupid!

• Permalink: Mmm, I guess we're not gonna find anything. Well how we gonna ...
• Added: August 06, 2010

(discussing the where-abouts of the buried treasure)
Homer: Nooo kidding?
Chief Wiggum: Big T, huh?
Homer: Well... I guess I'll be going to my home now and... sleep.
Chief Wiggum: Yeah... me too.... I will also go home.... for sleep.

• Permalink: Nooo kidding? Big T, huh? Well... I guess I'll be going to m...
• Added: August 06, 2010