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The-simpsons

We've come up with a camera so tiny it fits into this oversized novelty hat.

Kent Brockman

Apu: Oh, this time I have gone to far. No, no one will fall for--
Homer: Woohoo! Cheap meat!

Ah, there's an interesting story behind this nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three - medium brown.

Grampa

Oh, the searing kiss of hot lead, how I've missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying.

Apu

Apu, if it'll make you feel any better, I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

Homer

Man #1: I need one twenty-nine-cent stamp.
Apu: That's a dollar-eighty-five.
Man #2: I'll have two dollars worth of gas.
Apu: Four-twenty.
Martin: How much is your penny candy?
Apu: Surprisingly expensive!

Apu: (Near the top of a mountain) There she is! The world's first convenience store!
Homer: This isn't very convenient.
Apu: Must you dump on everything we do?

(Apu sees Homer in the shower with a candy stuck in his chest)
Apu: What's that?
Homer: EhI like to leave it there.

James Woods: But as for me, I'm off to battle aliens on a faraway planet.
Marge: That sounds like a good movie!
James Woods: Yes...yes..uh, a movie...yes.

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