The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

(discussing the where-abouts of the buried treasure)
Homer: Nooo kidding?
Chief Wiggum: Big T, huh?
Homer: Well... I guess I'll be going to my home now and... sleep.
Chief Wiggum: Yeah... me too.... I will also go home.... for sleep.

Lisa: Dad, maybe this will cheer you up. (plays song by blowing an empty bottle)
Homer: Oh! It doesn't work anymore.... I didn't say stop!

Homer: We'll be right back!
Kent Brockman: You don't get to say that!

Marge: I don't think the guns are a good idea!
Homer: Marge! We're responsible adults a--
(Gun shot)
Moe: Whoops!
Homer: And if a group of responsible adults can't handle firearms in a responsible way--
(Gun shot)
Captain McCallister: Sorry!
(gun shot)
Principal Skinner: Uh oh!
(Gun shot)
Moe: Me again...
(Gun shot)
Bart: Sorry.

Bart: The burglar even took my stamp collection!
Lisa: You! Had a stamp collection!? (everybody laughs *phone rings*)
Nelson: Stamp collection!? Haha!

Jimbo: You let me down, man! Now I don't believe in nothin'! I'm goin' to law school!
Homer: NOOOOOOOO!!!

Good Lord! My Stormin' Norman commemorative plates stolen! Again

Principal Skinner

Homer: No burning leaves without a permit!
Man: But I have one!
Homer: Too late!

Well, it looks like we have our first caller. And I mean ever, because this is not a call-in show.

Kent Brockman

So I said to him, "Look buddy, your car was upside-down when we got here. And as for your grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that."

Homer

I'm filled with piss and vinegar! At first, I was just filled with vinegar.

Grampa

Thank you for coming. I'll see you in Hell!

Apu
Displaying quotes 301 - 312 of 624 in total

The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa