Annex Manager: Now Tell me Mr. Simpson, what special skills could you teach a class on?
Homer: Uh... I can tell the difference between butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
Annex Manager: No you can't! No one can!

Homer: Well, I'm opposed to the whole thing! Damn opposed!
Bart: He's damn opposed! Damn damn damn opposed!

Mr. Burns: Why, it's Fred Flintstone and his lovely wife, Wilma! Oh, and this must be little Pebbles! Mind if I come in? I brought chocolates.
Homer: Yabba-dabba-doo!

I'm in love... no wait, it's a stroke.

Grampa

I'm gonna smooch her like a mule eating an apple!

Grampa

Bart: (Imitating Grampa and Jacqueline) Don't forget the Smeckler's powder.
Grampa and Jacqueline: Don't make fun!

(Bart answers the door)
Man: Yeah, hi. I got a special delivery for Homer Simpson.
Bart: That's me.
Man: (Punches Bart in the face.) Don't write no more letters to Mr. Sinatra.
(doorbell rings Bart answers it)
Teenager: I got a special delivery for Homer Simpson.
Bart: Uh that's me.
Teenager: (Punches Bart in the face.) Stop stealing golf balls from the driving range!
(Doorbell rings)
Man: (Through door) Homer Simpson! I've got a uh special delivery for you.
Bart: Go away.
Man: If you do not open the door, Mr. Simpson I cannot give you your special delivery.
(Bart sees it's his animation cell he ordered.)
Man: Here's your special delivery.
Bart: Thanks...
Man: (Punches Bart in the face.) And that's for keeping me waiting.

Hello, everyone except Homer.

Patty

Marge: He's an awful, awful, awful man! I guess if he makes Mom happy, that's all that really matters.
Homer: That's right, money. Your money's happiness is all that moneys.

Mr. Burns: Bravissimo, Luigi! Bring us your finest bottle of vino!
Luigi: Hey, you trust-ah Luigi, huh? He knows-ah what for to make-ah really nice the amore.
Jackie: Oh, Monty, I've never been to a more romantic restaurant.
Luigi: (Entering kitchen) Hey, Salvatore! Break out the cheap hooch for Mr. No-Tip and the dried-up-ah zombie he's-ah captured!

Mrs. Bouvier: I swear, Monty, you are the devil himself.
Mr. Burns: I...Who told you?! ...Oh, ah, yes.

Oh, it's not a swindle. What you do is, see, you give them all your credit card numbers, and if one of them is lucky, they send you a prize.

Grampa

The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa