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The-simpsons

Marge: Homey, you know, it's funny. Both my mother and your father seem pretty lonely.
Homer: (chuckling) That is funny.

Oh, it's not a swindle. What you do is, see, you give them all your credit card numbers, and if one of them is lucky, they send you a prize.

Grampa

Bart: (Imitating Grampa and Jacqueline) Don't forget the Smeckler's powder.
Grampa and Jacqueline: Don't make fun!

La...tex...con...dome. Boy I'd like to live in one of those!

Grampa

My darling, since my kneecaps are filling with fluid as we speak, I'll be brief. Will you marry me?

Mr. Burns

Marge: He's an awful, awful, awful man! I guess if he makes Mom happy, that's all that really matters.
Homer: That's right, money. Your money's happiness is all that moneys.

Marge: He's an evil man.
Mrs. Bouvier: Evil, shmevil, Marge. Monty can provide for me. And besides, he's a great kisser.
Homer: Ew, yuck!

Bart: I'm going to keep the Mary Worth phone right here. Her stern but sensible face will remind me never to do anything so stupid again.
(it rings and Bart answers it)
Milhouse: Hey Bart, you want to go play with that X-ray machine in the abandoned hospital?
Bart: Sure!

Roger Myers Jr.: I'm proud to offer your viewers these hand-drawn Itchy and Scratchy animation cells. Each one is absolutely, positively, one hundred percent guaranteed to increase in value.
Voiceover: (very quickly) Not a guarantee.

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