The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes
(about Principal Skinner) Oh my God, he is like some sort of ... non ... giving up ... school guy!Bart
- Permalink: Oh my God, he is like some sort of ... non ... giving up ... sch...
Your Uncle Arthur used to have a saying. "Shoot em' all and let God sort it out." Unfortunately, one day he put his theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshals to bring him down. Now, let's never speak of him again.Marge
- Permalink: Your Uncle Arthur used to have a saying. Shoot em' all and let G...
Homer: What does "sequestered" mean?
Principal Skinner: If the jury is deadlocked they're put up in a hotel together so they can't communicate with the outside world.
Homer: What does "deadlocked" mean?
Principal Skinner: It's when the jury can't agree on a verdict.
Homer: Uh huh. And "if"?
Principal Skinner: A conjunction meaning "in the event that" or "on condition that".
Homer: So if we don't all vote the same way, we'll be deadlocked and have to be sequestered in the Springfield Palace Hotel--
Patty: That's not going to happen.
Jasper: Let's vote. My liver is failing.
Homer: --where we'll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool, free HBO ooh! Free Willy!
- Permalink: What does sequestered mean? If the jury is deadlocked they're ...
Dr. Hibbert: Well, only one in two million people has what we call the "evil gene". Hitler had it, Walt Disney had it, and... Freddy Quimby has it.
Lionel Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert. I rest my case.
Judge Snyder: You rest your case?
Lionel Hutz: What? Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech. Case closed.
- Permalink: Well, only one in two million people has what we call the evil g...
Marge, it was horrible. Everyone was against me in that jury room. But I stood by the courage of my convictions and I prevailed. And that's why we had Chinese food for lunch.Homer
- Permalink: Marge, it was horrible. Everyone was against me in that jury roo...
Bart: See Lisa, they don't need my help proving Freddy innocent.
Lisa: That's because Mayor Quimby is buying his nephew's freedom.
Bart: The system works.
- Permalink: See Lisa, they don't need my help proving Freddy innocent. Tha...
Principal Skinner: (thinking) I know you can read my thoughts, Bart. Just a little reminder. If I find out you cut class, your ass is mine. Yes, you heard me. I think words I would never say.
Homer: (thinking) I know you can read my thoughts, boy. (singing) Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.
- Permalink: I know you can read my thoughts, Bart. Just a little reminder. I...
Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.Bart
- Permalink: Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.
This is great. Not only am I not learning, I'm forgetting stuff I used to know.Milhouse
- Permalink: This is great. Not only am I not learning, I'm forgetting stuff ...
My water dish is empty...Martin
- Permalink: My water dish is empty...
Sir, I got carsick in your office.Ralph
- Permalink: Sir, I got carsick in your office.
Agnes: (From downstairs) Seymour, your friend Bart is here.
Principal Skinner: I know, mother!
Agnes: Seymour, do you want me to tell you when it's 7:30?
Principal Skinner: No, mother!
- Permalink: Seymour, your friend Bart is here. I know, mother! 30? No, ...
Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
- Permalink: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles tri...
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
- Permalink: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut! Twenty dollars can buy...