The Sopranos

The Sopranos Quotes

Season 2 Episode 13: "Funhouse"

Big Pussy: Guys... not the face?
 • Rating: Unrated

Christopher: (on being 'made') I deserve it. Got no spleen, Gene!
 • Rating: Unrated

Carmela: Your father is sick.
Meadow: Oh, my God, daddy. What happened?
Carmela: He went to an Indian restaurant.
Meadow: That is so racist.
 • Rating: Unrated

Skip: I know. I know. Tony is your best friend.
Big Pussy: President Franklin is my best friend and he's in [the envelope].
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Melfi: So who's your friend? Pussy?
Tony: I'm confused.
Dr. Melfi: Is Pussy your friend?
Tony: Yeah.
Dr. Melfi: But that's the friend who was almost carried off by the ducks, right?
Tony: When you say p***y do you mean my friend Pussy or do you mean p***y?
Dr. Melfi: Whatever seems to be dominating your thoughts.
Tony: I got p***y on the brain. I always do.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tony: I had a dream I f**ked your brains out. Right on that desk, and you loved it.
Dr. Melfi: Well, you threw that at me like a rock.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 12: "The Knight in White Satin Armor"

(Tony mentions he's breaking it off with Irina)
Dr. Melfi: I'm interested in why you're ending it.
Tony: What do you mean why? Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? Aren't you telling me that all the time in here?
Dr. Melfi: I don't think I've ever passed judgment on your sex life or any patient's sex life.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tony: (to Richie) Those who want respect, give respect.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Silvio: (on Richie) I genuinely don't think there's anything to gain by keeping him around.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Tony: How many jobs have you had in this lifetime?
Janice: Enough to know I don't want another one.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Tony: What is that?
Irina: Chicken Soup for the Soul.
Tony: You should read Tomato Sauce for your Ass. It's the Italian version.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Janice: What did you do with...[Richie's body]?
Tony: (deadpan) We buried him... on a hill... overlooking a little river... with pine cones all around.
Janice: You did?
Tony: (irritated) Come on, Janice! What the f**k do you care what we did with him?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Carmela: You're putting me in a position where I'm feeling sorry for a whore who f**ks you?! You know what's even stranger-for a second I believed you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carmela: What the hell happened over there?
Tony: Janice decided to go back to Seattle.
Carmela: You're kidding. What about Richie? He must be devastated.
Tony: Richie's gone.
Carmela: What do you mean gone?
Tony: Gone.
Carmela: Where?
Tony: Carmela, after 18 years of marriage, don't make me make you an accessory after the fact.
Carmela: An accessory after the...(realizes) Holy s**t!
 • Rating: Unrated

Carmela: In a year, tops, you're gonna have to accept a gumar.
Janice: Oh, yeah? Well I'd like to see a gumar who's gonna let him hold a gun to their head when they f**k.
Carmela: You let him hold a gun to your head during sex?
Janice: Yeah. Well, if that gets him off, I mean, it's not any different than garter belts and nurse's uniforms.
Carmela: Well, it's a gun, Janice. I thought you were a feminist.
Janice: Usually he takes the clip out.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tony: See obviously, Richie, you're f**king deaf, I told you ten times, then I find out you're still dealing blow on those garbage routes.
Richie: For that I'm losing a f**king bid?
Tony: Next time you'll find yourself in the back of one of your trucks.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 11: "House Arrest"

Livia: It's not easy being abandoned, is it?
Junior: Look to yourself.
 • Rating: Unrated

Neil: The feds are a business, Anthony. Millions of tax dollars invested in watching your ass. Sooner or later, just like you, they're going to want a return on that investment.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Melfi: Some people take pleasure in the simple doing of things.
Tony: The things I take pleasure in, I can't do.
 • Rating: Unrated

Junior: I'm not a cat. I don't s**t in a box.
 • Rating: Unrated

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