Carmela: Your father is sick.
Meadow: Oh, my God, daddy. What happened?
Carmela: He went to an Indian restaurant.
Meadow: That is so racist.

Tony: I had a dream I fucked your brains out. Right on that desk, and you loved it.
Dr. Melfi: Well, you threw that at me like a rock.

Dr. Melfi: So who's your friend? Pussy?
Tony: I'm confused.
Dr. Melfi: Is Pussy your friend?
Tony: Yeah.
Dr. Melfi: But that's the friend who was almost carried off by the ducks, right?
Tony: When you say pussy do you mean my friend Pussy or do you mean pussy?
Dr. Melfi: Whatever seems to be dominating your thoughts.
Tony: I got pussy on the brain. I always do.

Skip: I know. I know. Tony is your best friend.
Big Pussy: President Franklin is my best friend and he's in [the envelope].

(on being 'made') I deserve it. Got no spleen, Gene!

Christopher

Guys... not the face?

Big Pussy

Tony: What is that?
Irina: Chicken Soup for the Soul.
Tony: You should read Tomato Sauce for your Ass. It's the Italian version.

Janice: What did you do with...[Richie's body]?
Tony: (deadpan) We buried him... on a hill... overlooking a little river... with pine cones all around.
Janice: You did?
Tony: (irritated) Come on, Janice! What the fuck do you care what we did with him?

Tony: How many jobs have you had in this lifetime?
Janice: Enough to know I don't want another one.

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