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Tony: See obviously, Richie, you're fucking deaf, I told you ten times, then I find out you're still dealing blow on those garbage routes.
Richie: For that I'm losing a fucking bid?
Tony: Next time you'll find yourself in the back of one of your trucks.

(on Richie) I genuinely don't think there's anything to gain by keeping him around.

Silvio

Carmela: In a year, tops, you're gonna have to accept a gumar.
Janice: Oh, yeah? Well I'd like to see a gumar who's gonna let him hold a gun to their head when they fuck.
Carmela: You let him hold a gun to your head during sex?
Janice: Yeah. Well, if that gets him off, I mean, it's not any different than garter belts and nurse's uniforms.
Carmela: Well, it's a gun, Janice. I thought you were a feminist.
Janice: Usually he takes the clip out.

Tony: How many jobs have you had in this lifetime?
Janice: Enough to know I don't want another one.

Tony: You don't sell that shit around those routes, you hear me?
Richie: I'm workin' with Junior on this.
Tony: I don't give a shit if you're workin' with Wal-Mart. Knock it the fuck off.

The feds are a business, Anthony. Millions of tax dollars invested in watching your ass. Sooner or later, just like you, they're going to want a return on that investment.

Neil

(to Richie) Don't give me your fucking 'Manson lamps.'

Tony

Bobby: (on Catherine) She seems all right.
Junior: What the hell would we talk about? Bunions? You know how I feel about feet.

I'm not a cat. I don't shit in a box.

Junior

(A garbage driver has dumped garbage outside a complaining customer's mini-mart)
Richie: You called to complain yesterday? That's our policy, it's written on the side of our trucks. Double your garbage back if you're not satisfied.
Siraj: I complained because you didn't make full pickups on 12/16 and 20, and then I get charged double!
Richie: Yeah, we had to come out twice. (laughs)
Siraj: You charged me for pickups you missed.
Richie: My dispatcher asked you: if you're not satisfied, did you want your garbage back?
Siraj: Of course I don't want garbage back!
Richie: Then you're satisfied!
Siraj: You're talking shit to me.

Tony: You know we're the only country where the pursuit of happiness is guaranteed in writing? Do you believe that? A bunch of fucking spoiled brats. Where's my happiness then?
Dr. Melfi: It's the pursuit that's guaranteed.
Tony: Yeah, always a fucking loophole.

Livia: It's not easy being abandoned, is it?
Junior: Look to yourself.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 251 in total

The Sopranos Quotes

(to Junior) Remember the story you told me about the father bull talking to the son. They're up on this hill and looking down on a bunch of cows. And the son goes to the father, "Dad, why don't we run down there and fuck one of these cows?" Now do you remember what the father said? Father says, "Son, why don't we walk down there and fuck them all?"

Tony

(to Mahaffey) That's a shame. A medication comes along after your gambling gets your fucking hip busted to shit.

Big Pussy