Tony: See obviously, Richie, you're fucking deaf, I told you ten times, then I find out you're still dealing blow on those garbage routes.
Richie: For that I'm losing a fucking bid?
Tony: Next time you'll find yourself in the back of one of your trucks.

(on Richie) I genuinely don't think there's anything to gain by keeping him around.

Silvio

Carmela: In a year, tops, you're gonna have to accept a gumar.
Janice: Oh, yeah? Well I'd like to see a gumar who's gonna let him hold a gun to their head when they fuck.
Carmela: You let him hold a gun to your head during sex?
Janice: Yeah. Well, if that gets him off, I mean, it's not any different than garter belts and nurse's uniforms.
Carmela: Well, it's a gun, Janice. I thought you were a feminist.
Janice: Usually he takes the clip out.

Tony: How many jobs have you had in this lifetime?
Janice: Enough to know I don't want another one.

Tony: You don't sell that shit around those routes, you hear me?
Richie: I'm workin' with Junior on this.
Tony: I don't give a shit if you're workin' with Wal-Mart. Knock it the fuck off.

The feds are a business, Anthony. Millions of tax dollars invested in watching your ass. Sooner or later, just like you, they're going to want a return on that investment.

Neil

(to Richie) Don't give me your fucking 'Manson lamps.'

Tony

Bobby: (on Catherine) She seems all right.
Junior: What the hell would we talk about? Bunions? You know how I feel about feet.

I'm not a cat. I don't shit in a box.

Junior

(A garbage driver has dumped garbage outside a complaining customer's mini-mart)
Richie: You called to complain yesterday? That's our policy, it's written on the side of our trucks. Double your garbage back if you're not satisfied.
Siraj: I complained because you didn't make full pickups on 12/16 and 20, and then I get charged double!
Richie: Yeah, we had to come out twice. (laughs)
Siraj: You charged me for pickups you missed.
Richie: My dispatcher asked you: if you're not satisfied, did you want your garbage back?
Siraj: Of course I don't want garbage back!
Richie: Then you're satisfied!
Siraj: You're talking shit to me.

Tony: You know we're the only country where the pursuit of happiness is guaranteed in writing? Do you believe that? A bunch of fucking spoiled brats. Where's my happiness then?
Dr. Melfi: It's the pursuit that's guaranteed.
Tony: Yeah, always a fucking loophole.

Livia: It's not easy being abandoned, is it?
Junior: Look to yourself.

The Sopranos Quotes

Paulie: You didn't go to hell. You went to purgatory, my friend.
Christopher: I forgot about purgatory.
Paulie: Purgatory--a little detour on the way to paradise.
Christopher: How long do you think we've got to stay there?
Paulie: That's different for everybody. You add up all your mortal sins and multiply that number by 50. Then you add up all your venial sins and multiply that by 25. You add that together and that's your sentence. I figure I'm gonna have to do 6,000 years before I get accepted into heaven and 6,000 years is nothin' in eternity terms. I can do that standing on my head. It's like a couple of days here.

Christopher: Let that one (points to Sandra Bernhard) call that one (points to Janeane Garofalo) "buchiach."
Janeane Garofalo: That sounds more interesting.
Director: Uh, buch- what?
Christopher: Buchiach. (motions to Sandra) If she's from Brooklyn...
Janeane Garofalo: That sounds okay.
Jon Favreau: Okay, let's roll. What does it mean?
Christopher: Cunt.
Jon Favreau: Cunt-I like that.