(to Richie) Don't give me your fucking 'Manson lamps.'

Tony

(to Richie) I fuckin' hate the way you make me ride you!

Tony

(to Tony) Maybe you should lamb chop it for awhile?

Furio

(to police) On your way out do you think you can roll the garbage down the hill? Tomorrow is pick up day.

Tony

Tony: What do you wanna talk about?
Richie: Fucking Dick Barone!
Tony: Well, as long as the two of you are happy.

(to Tony) Sometimes we're all hypocrites.

Meadow

Tony: If I'm going to lam it, I'm going with a fucking package. I'm not going to be like fucking Mickey Mazucco. The poor prick only had five minutes to run. He ended up in some rat infested motel down in Elvis country.
Furio: What is that?
Paulie: Anywhere there are no Jews or Italians.
Furio: I don't get it.

Gentle and merciful Lord Jesus, I want to speak to you not with an open heart, an honest heart. Tonight I ask you take my sins and the sins of my family into your merciful heart. We have chosen this life in full awareness of the consequences of our sins. I know that Christopher's life is in your hands and his fate is your will. I ask you humbly to spare him and if it is your will to spare him, I ask that you deliver him from blindness and grant him vision and through this vision may he see your love and gain the strength to carry on in service to your mercy.

</i> Carmela

Paulie: You didn't go to hell. You went to purgatory, my friend.
Christopher: I forgot about purgatory.
Paulie: Purgatory--a little detour on the way to paradise.
Christopher: How long do you think we've got to stay there?
Paulie: That's different for everybody. You add up all your mortal sins and multiply that number by 50. Then you add up all your venial sins and multiply that by 25. You add that together and that's your sentence. I figure I'm gonna have to do 6,000 years before I get accepted into heaven and 6,000 years is nothin' in eternity terms. I can do that standing on my head. It's like a couple of days here.

Paulie: There's no denying it, I'm dragging a bunch of fucking ghouls around with me and Mikey is their fucking ringleader.
Tony: Paulie, think about it. You whacked a bunch of heavy hitters in your time. Do you think they're going to join together and follow that prick Mikey?

(to Carmela) You're only religious when it suits you.

Tony

(to Elliot on Tony) I'm living in a moral never never land with this patient. Not wanting to judge but to treat. But now I've judged, I took a position Goddamn it and I'm scared.

Dr. Melfi
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 251 in total

The Sopranos Quotes

(to Junior) Remember the story you told me about the father bull talking to the son. They're up on this hill and looking down on a bunch of cows. And the son goes to the father, "Dad, why don't we run down there and fuck one of these cows?" Now do you remember what the father said? Father says, "Son, why don't we walk down there and fuck them all?"

Tony

Junior: A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The Chinaman says, "why?" Doctor said, "you have a cataract." Chinaman says, "no, I have a Rincoln Continental." (short pause) You don't get it?
Bobby: I get it. He drives a Lincoln Continental. What?

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