The Sopranos Quotes
A.J.: There is no God.
Carmela and Tony: Hey!!
- Permalink: There is no God. Hey!!
Carmela: You could have killed those girls.
A.J.: Now that would have been interesting.
Carmela: What? What did you just say?
A.J.: Death just shows the ultimate absurdity of life.
Tony: What is this? Are you trying to get me to lose my temper? Cause I'm about to put you through that Goddamn window.
A.J.: See? That's what I mean. Life is absurd.
Carmela: Don't say that! God forgive you.
A.J.: There is no God.
- Permalink: You could have killed those girls. Now that would have been in...
Carmela: You stole my car? Where is the trust in this house?
AJ: When I get confirmed I'm going to be a man. So how come I can't drive?
Tony: You really want to get into this? Who was that man we had to pick up at camp last year for bed wetting?
- Permalink: You stole my car? Where is the trust in this house? When I get...
Livia: Why does everything have to have a purpose? The world is a jungle and if you want my advice Anthony, don't expect happiness. You won't get it. People let you down and I'm not naming any names but in the end you die in your own arms.
A.J.: You mean alone.
Livia: It's all a big nothing. What makes you think you're so special?
- Permalink: Why does everything have to have a purpose? The world is a jungl...
Well, when you're married you'll understand the importance of fresh produce.Tony
- Permalink: Well, when you're married you'll understand the importance of fr...
Carmela: What kind of animal smokes marijuana at his own confirmation?
A.J.: I don't know.
Carmela: Be a good Catholic for fifteen fucking minutes; is that so much to ask?!
- Permalink: What kind of animal smokes marijuana at his own confirmation? ...
Dr. Melfi: It sounds to me like Anthony Jr. may have stumbled onto existentialism.
Tony: Fucking Internet.
- Permalink: It sounds to me like Anthony Jr. may have stumbled onto existent...
Swingers? He can suck my dick; that swings, too.Christopher
- Permalink: Swingers? He can suck my d**k; that swings, too.
Christopher: Let that one (points to Sandra Bernhard) call that one (points to Janeane Garofalo) "buchiach."
Janeane Garofalo: That sounds more interesting.
Director: Uh, buch- what?
Christopher: Buchiach. (motions to Sandra) If she's from Brooklyn...
Janeane Garofalo: That sounds okay.
Jon Favreau: Okay, let's roll. What does it mean?
Jon Favreau: Cunt-I like that.
- Permalink: Let that one call that one buchiach. That sounds more intere...
Tony: (on AJ) He tells me he's got no purpose.
Dr. Melfi: And how did you answer him?
Tony: I told him that it costs 150 grand to bring him up so far, so if he's got no purpose I want a fucking refund.
- Permalink: He tells me he's got no purpose. And how did you answer him? ...
(to AJ on Carmela) She knows that even if God is dead, you're still going to kiss his ass.Tony
- Permalink: She knows that even if God is dead, you're still going to kiss h...
Some people are so far behind in the race that they actually believe they're leading.Junior
- Permalink: Some people are so far behind in the race that they actually bel...
Junior: A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The Chinaman says, "why?" Doctor said, "you have a cataract." Chinaman says, "no, I have a Rincoln Continental." (short pause) You don't get it?
Bobby: I get it. He drives a Lincoln Continental. What?
- Permalink: A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam the doctor...
(to Junior) Remember the story you told me about the father bull talking to the son. They're up on this hill and looking down on a bunch of cows. And the son goes to the father, "Dad, why don't we run down there and fuck one of these cows?" Now do you remember what the father said? Father says, "Son, why don't we walk down there and fuck them all?"Tony
- Permalink: Remember the story you told me about the father bull talking to ...