Kid in comic store: What are you?
Linda: She's Princess Valhalla Hawkwind.
Kid: What?
Kate: What to take a picture with me?
Kid: What are your super powers?
Kate: I don't have a vagina.
Kid: Come on let's go to Popeye's and get some chicken.

You brought your boyfriend? I was hoping we would do this like Europeans where I wouldn't have to meet him until your funeral.


Tara: (about their house) How is it?
Max: When was the last time you were in New Orleans?
Tara: Okay - I am on my way.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, Max. There is.

After all these years, Tara, it's time to get out of the basement.


You're not worried about Neil's baby, are you? Dancing won't shake that thing loose.


We are like the dumbest nation on the whole planet. I think it has something to do with freedom. We're very free, so we're very free to be stupid.


Ted: It's pretty amazing how much she's like the real Shoshannah.
Charmaine: If by amazing, you mean makes you wanna shove a stick in your mouth, then I totally agree.

Your anger is a very pretty costume, Kate. Just like your costume is a costume.


This reminds me of those church lock-ins I attended as a girl. No necking, children.


Kate: Break up with Crazy Pants!
Marshall: I'm trying.

Marshall : She says she wants to be a celibate power couple.
Kate: Celibate power couple? That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.