Overall I’d give Hell one star for horror and two very disappointed thumbs down for clever use of parable.


Damon: You telling me my brother is still stuck in here and you brought me out first?
Bonnie: That didn’t sound like even a glimmer of a thank you…

This isn’t about what you do in her name, Damon. It’s about what you do in her absence.


This PTSD puppet show wouldn’t happen to be, by chance, a ploy to get me to feel remorse for your pointless death, would it? Because it ain’t working, Mama.


Mom, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Give me a chance to make it right. Give me a chance to let you love me. Okay?


Stefan: How many times do you get a second chance to deliver your mother’s eulogy?
Damon: Good point, brother. How’s this? Lily, you were a terrible mother when you were alive and you were a terrible mother when you were dead. [to Stefan] You’re right. That does feel good.

Valerie: It’s just us. Beau couldn’t bring himself to say goodbye.
Damon: I’m sure he just couldn’t find the right words to say.

Bonnie: I don’t need people to tell me I’m pretty.
Nora: Nobody needs it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not nice to hear.

Bonnie: 'Hey, Stefan! Did I mention Bonnie saw me mix a blood bag with a jar of mayonnaise at 2 o’clock in the morning?'
Caroline: Okay, one, that was marshmallow fluff. And two, I’m feeding for three now, so I get cravings.

Hi, mom. I just realized that this is going to be my first Christmas without you. That sucks. I still got you something, two somethings, actually. I will spare you the details of how because honestly I’m sick of talking about it. But it’s happening. I’m pregnant. I used to picture us having this conversation. It looked different. Obviously. I was a human carrying my own children and you…were alive. I know they’re not mine, but they’re still my responsibility, you know, and I want to…I have to do this right. And I have no idea what I’m doing and all I want to do is just sit on our kitchen counter while you burn our dinner and ask you a million questions. God, I miss you.


We wouldn't be a family without you, Lily. I love you.


Okay, this vervain stings like a bitch and this family drama makes the prospect of Hell look like Disneyland. So, please, one swift stab straight through the heart. Let's get this over with.


Vampire Diaries Quotes

You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena.


Dear Elena, yes you heard that correctly. Hell has frozen over. I'm writing it all down. Granted, I'm half a bottle in thanks to my 1950 Chateau Cheval Blanc, a bottle I waited 65 years to open. I used to spend nights sitting in my wine cellar convincing myself I could hear it age, tannins growing, fermenting, but appreciating its beauty didn't make time go by any faster. The bottle just laid there on its shelf, torturing me while I waited for Katherine and time stood still. Eventually I convinced myself that no sip of that wine could ever taste as good as I dreamt it would. And that is the story of why I drink bourbon. I don't know who I am without you, but I know that as long as I'm with you, time will stand still. So who is Damon Salvatore without Elena Gilbert? A selfish friend, a jealous brother, a horrible son? Or maybe with a little luck, I'll do right by you. Because you may be a thousand miles away or a hundred years away, but you're still here with me and my heart is right there in that coffin with you. Until you come back to me.