Sundays 9:00 PM on HBO

First of all, I've seen enough horror movies to know you don't split up when you're in a big, scary asylum and there's a crazed killer on the loose. Second, I think it's fair to say my microwave fingers and the sun are about the only things around here that seem to have any effect on Russell. So the way I see it, it's me protecting you from him instead of the other way around. Third, I got a headache and I gotta pee something fierce so I'd just as soon get this over with


Cheese and crackers, Andy, will you put some clothes on? Have you lost your mind?


Listen close. I saved your f-king life and lent you some truly exquisite clothes. But if you do anything to mess with Fangtasia, I will silver you and stick you in a coffin to rot until the next millennium. Do you understand me?


New York City smells like pee and the people are rude.


We're gonna live forever. We're gonna be young forever. The world is wide open to us.


I just wanna rip these people's heads off and drink their insides.


Tara: So basically I'm your slave.
Pam: Pretty much.

A 3,000-year old vampire wants to suck my blood. Must be Thursday!

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