Arlene: I want you to promise me smoethin', okay?
Sookie: Okay.
Arlene: Someday, if I ever find another man, I want you to look inside his head and tell me everything that's in there.
Sookie: Uh... Arlene, it doesn't really work that way.
Arlene: Promise me, okay? Cause I have the worst taste in men

Sookie: Tara. You look so pretty. Like someone turned on a light under your skin.
Sam: Hospital gave her pain meds. She's... she's a little loopy.
Tara: Didn't you listen when I said I'd lose my shit if anything ever happened to you?
Sookie: Don't lose your shit. I'm fine. Did Sam tell you he saved my life? He turned into a dog and bit Rene.
Lafayette: Well, shit. I'm gonna need some of them drugs they gave you.
Sam: Okay, you guys. We should let her rest.
Sookie: Sam, you should let people see the real you. Cause you're kind, brave. There's nothin there not to love.
Sam: Right back at you

Tara [about Maryann]: So, collecting stray black people. That some kind of hobby of hers?
Eggs: She's right about you. You are funny.
Tara: Oh, yeah? What else she tell you about me?
Eggs: She said you crashed your car with a gallon of whiskey in your lap.
Tara: It was vodka. Really cheap vodka

Orry Dawson: Officially the church can not condone what you did. You took the lives of four women. Women who had tainted themselves and their race. But still human women... But we do recognize that your methods may have been flawed, your intentions were pure.
Jason: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Orry Dawson: That's smart. Don't admit to anything

Sam [about Bill]: Can't you see what he's like? How can you even think about being with him?
Sookie: Sam, my living room is wrecked! I've got a killer, a vampire and a shapeshifter on my plate. Right about now I'm not thinkin' about being with anybody!

I am so happy and proud to shake the hand of someone with your values. Too often we're governed by criminals and hypocrites. Don't you agree? But I can tell you're a man of virtues and I applaud the effort you're making against the poor and disenfranchised. Especially the vampires and the gays. So many things can happen to bring down a person such as yourself. You might wanna be careful

Lafayette [while shaking the senator's hand]

Bill: She won't listen to me. It will take more time than I have to teach her obedience.
Jessica: I don't obey anybody, those days are over!
Eric: Can't handle one little girl, Bill? New ones can be like this. Man up my friend, she is not even one night old

Sam: [to Arlene, about her party] What do you want it took look like?
Terry: A débutante ball.
Arlene: Hug your neck! You know exactly what I'm talkin' about.
Sam : How did you know what she wanted?
Terry: My cousin Portia was a deb, from Shreveport when she turned 18. Every Bellefleur woman has been doin' it since they started to have 'em before the Revolutionary war.
Sam: Must be nice to come from such an old family.
Terry: All families are old, Sam. Some just keep better records

Amy: Hey you. Listen, are you alright?
Sookie: Sometimes I wish I smoked, so you could sneak outside without anybody knowing something's wrong with you

Bill: You do know I'm not going to let anything happen to you. That I am here for you, to protect you.
Sookie: What if I don't need to be protected? What if wanting to be protected makes me feel like the helpless little girl I used to be all over again?
Bill: Sookie... all of the things that you need to be protected from, all of the trouble you're in, you are in because of me. So you needing to be protected has nothing to do with you or who you are. All of it is my fault... So why don't you go to sleep and let me be the one to worry about it.
Sookie: Bill, all the trouble I'm in, it's mine. I chose it. I chose it when I chose you.
Bill: Yes, but...
Sookie: Don't you think I wanna blame somebody else? But what happen to my gran and poor Tina is my fault and it's sweet of you to try to take it all from me. But if I let you, I'd be so mad at you, I would never be able to look at you again. And right now your face is the only thing getting me by. So why don't we just leave it on me, okay?

Jason: All I'm sayin' is Lafayette didn't have to kidnap him and I'm pretty sure he left with some V.
Amy: Hey! If you wanna make the same arrangement with Eddie as Lafayette, than have at it. This was the only thing I could think of to get you out of blowin' your first vampire.
Jason: You've done this before, haven't you?
Amy: Done what?
Jason: This! Kidnappin' vampires!
Amy: Jason, baby. You're sweet but you've gotta mellow out

Pam [handing Sookie a leather outfit]: Put these on.
Sookie: Oh, thank you. But I'm fine really. I'm just gonna dry out my hair and be on my way.
Pam: You're not going anywhere. Eric and your boyfriend aren't nearly done talking just yet.
Sookie: Is... Bill is some kind of trouble?
Pam: That's for the boys to figure out. Right now what you need to do is change out of your clothes... there's vampire in your cleavage

True Blood Season 1 Quotes

Grandma [about people charging vampires for sex]: Wonder how much one would charge for something like that?
Jason: A thousand bucks.
Sookie: See, now that just makes me sick.
Grandma: I know. What kind of cheap woman could ever do something like that?
Sookie: No it makes me sick that they're getting a thousand bucks to lay there and do nothing while I bust my ass for ten bucks an hour plus tips

Tara [tending bar]: Uh-oh do... do not snap at me. I have a name. And that name is Tara. Isn't that funny a black girl being named after a plantation. No I don't think it's funny at all. In fact it really pisses me off that my momma was either stupid or just plain mean. Which is why you better be nice if you plan on getting a drink tonight.
Customer: Sorry