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True-blood

Bill: What do you want?
Malcolm: You never called me back. Now if I remember what feelings were, mine might be hurt

Sookie: Wow. I feel a little weak.
Bill: Of course you do. I fed on your blood. You should take some vitamin B-12 to replenish.
Sookie: Will I need to do that everyday?
Bill: If you don't mind, yes. And no garlic

Sookie: Wait a minute. I thought you're supposed to be invisible in the mirror.
Bill: We started many of the mysteries about ourselves centuries ago.
Sookie: What about holy water?
Bill: It's just water.
Sookie: Crucifixes?
Bill: Geometry.
Sookie: Garlic?
Bill: It's irritating. That's pretty much it.

Lafayette: [looking at all of the food brought by the town] What the fuck is it with white people and jello? I don't understand.
Tara: What the hell we gonna do with all this?
Lafayette: Toss it. Sookie don't need no bad juju cooking.
Tara: Bad juju?
Lafayette: Way to a man's heart is through his stomach. That shit true as gold. You put some love in your food and folk can taste it. Smell this. You can smell the fear and nastiness comin' off that cornbread.
Tara: Tastes just fine to me.
Lafayette: See bitch. You gonna wish you ain't did that. Watch

Sookie: I shouldn't have lost it like that.
Tara: Don't you feel sorry for yellin' at that snoopy old bitch. She's been stickin' her nose where it don't belong for years.
Lafayette: Say it. I mean, if she talked any more shit she'd be shaped like a toilet

Sam: Sookie, you have no future with a vampire!
Sookie: They don't die. I've got nothing but a future with one

Tara: Why didn't you tell me you were going out with Sam?
Sookie: Because it just happened and how did you know?
Tara: Arlene. She works fast.
Sookie: All he did was ask me to the DGD tonight and besides it's in a church. And why shouldn't I? He's perfectly nice, he's got a good job, and he's not a vampire! And why, why do I have to justify this to you?
Tara: I'm entitled to know what my girl's up to, aren't I?

Sookie [about Fangtasia]: This feels a little bit like what a vampire bar would look like if it were a ride at Disney World.
Bill: Well, don't get too comfortable. It tends to get more authentic as the night wears on

Bill [at the bar]: You able to pick up anything?
Sookie: All anyone's thinkin' about here is sex, sex, sex.
Bill: One needn't be telepathic to pick up on that

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