Mason: Would you ever consider moving?
Conner: Minneapolis? I don't know. It sounds so cold. And so close to Canada

Conner: Look on the bright side.
Mason: What side? Where is it bright?
Conner: I may make more money than you, but you have more money than me.

I don't mean to belittle your achievement, but didn't you get that promotion because someone dropped dead?

Denise

I know I said shampoo is not my thing, like I'm an anthropologist studying a bizarre alien race. But I have been working my ass off, all by myself and I still don't have a partner

Sarah

Look Conner, I get it. Mini bars get emptied. You don't want to write "Crazy Girls Strip Club" on your expense reports, so you say you took a few taxis

HR Guy

Erin: I booked us a couple's massage later this afternoon?
Mason: A couple's massage?
Erin: It'll be fun.
Mason: No it won't. That's even less relaxing. Getting a rub down from another woman with you lying five feet away. And what if the masseuses are men? I don't want some guy touching you in front of me. See I'm already more stressed

A beautiful woman is waiting all alone in a hotel suite, probably wearing all of her sexiest lingerie. Somebody should go

Conner [to Mason about his wife]

Mason: I hate massages. They stress me out. I never know whether to leave my underwear on or take it off.
masseuse: Oh, you have to ask.
Conner: You have to ask.
Mason: Yeah, that's gonna help. Starting a conversation with a perfect stranger saying, "Should I get totally naked?" Not relaxing for me

Think about what you're saying. You have a family to support. I have.... I have the gibbons... at the Lincoln Park zoo

Conner
Displaying quotes 10 - 18 of 45 in total