Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Alan: I... I wish there were a better way to deal with Mom.
Charlie: There is, but we're both too pretty for jail

Judith: Charlie, have you said derogatory things about me to Jake?
Charlie: No. Why? Do you want me to?

Daisy: I'm Daisy, the caterer.
Charlie: You're Berta's sister?
Daisy: Same mom, dad's a little iffy

I'm not homeless. I have a home, I just don't know where it's parked!

Daisy

Alan: Mom's here. Charlie, can you hear me?
Charlie: Yeah, I just prefer to live in denial

Charlie: Are you happy? Now we have to throw a party for your crazy-ass mother.
Alan: She's your mother, too.
Charlie: How do you know? I could have been adopted.
Alan: You wish

Daisy: I'm staying at a motel tonight.
Berta: Good idea, maybe you'll meet your next husband on the walk there

Displaying all 7 quotes

Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 7 Quotes

Charlie: Are you happy? Now we have to throw a party for your crazy-ass mother.
Alan: She's your mother, too.
Charlie: How do you know? I could have been adopted.
Alan: You wish

Daisy: I'm staying at a motel tonight.
Berta: Good idea, maybe you'll meet your next husband on the walk there