Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Mia: Charlie, I came here because... Well... I want your sperm.
Charlie: All right, where do you want it?

Charlie: Mia wants sperm.
Alan: Well, don't look at me.
Charlie: No, no, she wants my sperm. She wants me to make a deposit so she can make a baby.
Alan: You're kidding.
Charlie: Apparently, that's another one of its uses!

Charlie: I'm good genetic material, you know, easy on the eyes, and she wants to raise the kid alone which fits nicely into my lifestyle.
Alan: Charlie, drinking, gambling and casual sex is not a lifestyle

Alan: So, what are you going to do? You gonna go to a sperm bank?
Charlie: Well, I tried to talk her into a direct deposit. You know, straight from the tap. But she really dug in her heels. And not in a good way.
Alan: And you're okay with it?
Charlie: Well, why not? I've sent billions of solders out there. It's time for one of them to finally take the hill

Charlie: How about a quickie for old times sake?
Mia: Oh, please. Charlie, I think you're a terrific guy. You're smart, and handsome, and talented...
Charlie: All good arguments for the quickie.
Mia: Will you let me finish?
Charlie: Didn't I always?

Displaying all 5 quotes

Two and a Half Men Season 3 Episode 23 Quotes

Alan: So, what are you going to do? You gonna go to a sperm bank?
Charlie: Well, I tried to talk her into a direct deposit. You know, straight from the tap. But she really dug in her heels. And not in a good way.
Alan: And you're okay with it?
Charlie: Well, why not? I've sent billions of solders out there. It's time for one of them to finally take the hill

Charlie: How about a quickie for old times sake?
Mia: Oh, please. Charlie, I think you're a terrific guy. You're smart, and handsome, and talented...
Charlie: All good arguments for the quickie.
Mia: Will you let me finish?
Charlie: Didn't I always?

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