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Two-and-a-half-men

I may love broadway musicals, and have a keen eye for fashion, but that's where it ends.

Alan

You feel like an idiot? That casting agent said he could get me on Melrose Place.

Lyndsey

Walden: If I weren't here, would you be masturbating?
Alan: Are you kidding? I'd be done and fixing a sandwich.

Alcohol is just a bandage for the problem. I know this because I used to live with the mummy.

Alan

Lyndsey: I'm so full it'd be like sticking a pin in a balloon.
Alan: Can we please not call it a pin?

Displaying all 5 quotes

Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 Quotes

Alcohol is just a bandage for the problem. I know this because I used to live with the mummy.

Alan

Lyndsey: I'm so full it'd be like sticking a pin in a balloon.
Alan: Can we please not call it a pin?

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