Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS

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Two and a Half Men "Giant Cat Holding Churro" Quotes

Alan: I may love broadway musicals, and have a keen eye for fashion, but that's where it ends.
 • Rating: Unrated
Lyndsey: You feel like an idiot? That casting agent said he could get me on Melrose Place.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Walden: If I weren't here, would you be masturbating?
Alan: Are you kidding? I'd be done and fixing a sandwich.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Alan: Alcohol is just a bandage for the problem. I know this because I used to live with the mummy.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lyndsey: I'm so full it'd be like sticking a pin in a balloon.
Alan: Can we please not call it a pin?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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Total Quotes: 5
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