Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 4: "Hookers, Hookers, Hookers" Quotes
Herb: My marriage isnt over yet
Chris: Duuudee....you've been takin out the garbage for two and a half hours
Alan: She left her kid there. She's got to come back.
Charlie: Would you come back for that kid?
Alan: She's never coming back.
Alan: It's always good to have a choice of dips.
Lyndsey: And I chose you.
Alan: Zing.
After seven years, I finally move out of your house, and within two days, I burn my new home down. You can't write this stuff.
Alan
Chris, I believe you know my brother. The man who's banging your wife and burnt down your house.
Charlie
Chris: I just found out I have a lump on my groin.
Herb: Bad place for a lump.
Charlie: Tell me a good place.
Herb: Someone else's groin.
Charlie: You'd really be willing to risk your marriage over a cute, young babysitter?
Herb: I certainly wouldn't risk it over a fat, ugly one.
I did a babysitter once. My mom was furious.
Charlie
Alan: You don't really think he'd give me a thousand dollars an hour?
Lyndsey: If I were you, I'd get the money up front.
Charlie: I promise I'll get a quiet hooker.
Alan: Believe or not, that's a real concession on his part.
Charlie: You guys are no fun, I'm gonna call a hooker.
Lyndsey: Charlie, there's two boys in the house!
Charlie: Let them get their own hookers.
