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Prostitute: What's my role in this?
Charlie: You don't think I'm a good role model, yet paradoxically you want to have kids with me.

Prostitue: What kind of sex does charlie want?
Charlie: Oh i get to choose? It's kind of like Baskin Robbins. You know if they charged $1,000 a scoop.

Alan: You stole drugs from your son?
Lyndsay: It's only fair, he stole my youth.

Lyndsay: It's like the horse head scene in The Godfather.
Alan: Could be worse. Could be the prom scene from Carrie.

I miss the 80's but you don't see me snorting blow of a DeLorean.

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