Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Alan: Ooh package, how exciting. What could it be?
Delivery Guy: It's from a crematorium so that kind of narrows it down.

Walden: Trust me, money doesn't buy happiness.
Alan: I wouldn't know, I've never had either.

Just like old times. I'm talking and you're in a bottle ignoring me.

Alan [to urn]
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