Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men "Phase One, Complete" Quotes

Alan: Do you really want me to tell a ten year old boy that someone he really cares about was pretending to like him? What kind of lesson is that?
Charlie: He lives in L.A., he might as well learn now
 • Rating: Unrated

Charlie: Look Jake, I'm sorry about the Wendy thing, but there's nothing I can do about it. And I want us to be buddies again. I don't want you to hate me anymore.
Jake: I don't hate you.
Charlie: Good.
Jake: I'm just very disappointed in you.
Charlie: Hey, I get enough of that crap from my mother
 • Rating: Unrated

Rose:...We're both like two lonely socks that want desperately to keep someone's feet warm, but we don't match up with any other socks. So all we can hope for is to be a dust mitten or a hand puppet
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Charlie: What will it take, huh? Cash? Video games?
Jake: I don't want stuff. I got enough stuff when my mom and dad broke up.
Charlie: This isn't the same thing, Jake.
Jake: It doesn't matter. You liked Wendy, and now you don't like her, and nobody cares what I want.
Charlie: Jake, come here, buddy. Sit down. Look, it's not that I don't care what you want. It's just that you're a kid, and what you want doesn't matter
 • Rating: Unrated

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