Two and a Half Men

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Two and a half men
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Zoey: Interesting, I can imagine you as a drunken Sodomite, never imagining you for liking poetry.
Lyndsey: Oh no, I really do, here is a poem you might appreciate:
Roses are red, Violets are blue,
I am nice person
And you can bite my pale, unrefined ass.
Zoey: A lady does not bite; she will however make you wear that ass as a bonnet.

Lyndsey: I am not a fan of fat people singing in a foreign language for two and a half hours.
Zoey: Well, Opera is not for everyone, to appreciate it requires a refined taste and certain amount of education.

Zoey: I slept like a baby.
Lyndsey: Hope you did not wet the bed.

That is one talented lady; and by talented... I mean annoying; and by lady, I mean bitch.

Alan

Harvard; the Santa Monica Community College of the East.

Alan

A guy in a leotard and a skirt realized he chopped off his own brother's head off. That is heartbreaking.

Walden
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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 16 Quotes

Harvard; the Santa Monica Community College of the East.

Alan

A guy in a leotard and a skirt realized he chopped off his own brother's head off. That is heartbreaking.

Walden