Two and a Half Men "Something Salted and Twisted" Quotes
Alan: The important thing for you to know is how much I love you.
Jake: You told the waiter that you loved him, too.
Alan: He was a very good waiter
• Rating: Unrated
Charlie: We all want the shining red apple, but sometimes we got to settle for what's on the lower branch, or in some cases we take what's lying on the ground
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Alan: From now on I'm going to live my life with honor and dignity.
Charlie: But first, I'll just fall asleep with my head on the crapper
• Rating: Unrated
Charlie: So what else did we learn tonight?
Alan: Well, let's see. I learned that, that to overcome my fear of rejection ingrained in me by an emotionally distant mother, I need to completely disable my central nervous system with semi-lethal quantities of alcohol
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 4
