Two and a Half Men

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Two and a half men
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Alan: Do you have any idea how long it would take me to earn that kind of money?
Charlie: Oh don't think like that. You're never going to earn that kind of money.

Dr. Shankman: Is there anything else you'd like done while you're out? A little lipo, nose job, penis enlargement?
Charlie: No, no, thanks. For the record, I got the penis enlargement when you (Nurse Kendra) walked in the room.

Jake: You're cheap.
Alan: I'm not cheap. I'm broke. There's a difference.
Charlie: He was cheap long before he was broke.

Charlie: Does she still have a Hitler mustache on the Russian front?
Alan: I wouldn't know. I was blindfolded and hog tied.

Oh boy, role playing. Can I be the man?

Alan

That 60 Minutes report on Dr. Shankman was entirely one-sided, just like that poor woman's vagina.

Evelyn

Evelyn: When this heals, I'll have the face of a twelve year old girl.
Charlie: But from the neck down you'll have an the body of an Egyptian mummy.

Displaying all 7 quotes

Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 5 Quotes

That 60 Minutes report on Dr. Shankman was entirely one-sided, just like that poor woman's vagina.

Evelyn

Evelyn: When this heals, I'll have the face of a twelve year old girl.
Charlie: But from the neck down you'll have an the body of an Egyptian mummy.

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