Two and a Half Men "The Soil is Moist" Quotes
Alan: (to Charlie) I ignore you at my own peril when it comes to women, liquor, and venereal disease.
• Rating: Unrated
Alan: Where did you get that?
Jake: I found it on the table.
Alan: Oh, Jake...
Jake: It's okay, I'm eating on the side without the teeth marks.
Charlie: Puberty, my ass. That's a missing chromosome.
• Rating: Unrated
Cynthia: Hi, Jake, look how big you're getting.
Jake: It's called puberty.
Charlie: It's called donuts.
Jake [looking down at his crotch]: Donuts don't make hair.
• Rating: Unrated
Charlie: How do you feel about bushes, Herb?
Herb: Well... I like a full bush, the way God intended.
Charlie: I like them trimmed.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 4