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Two-and-a-half-men

Gordon: God, I love your life.
Charlie: Thanks, but it's really not as fun as it looks.
Gordon: Really?
Charlie: Nah, I'm kidding! Cheers to me!

Alan: How's the pediatrician game?
Herb: Like taking money from babies.

Evelyn: You're my son. I should at least pretend I believe in you.
Alan: Thank you.
Evelyn: I'm putting "American Cancer Society" on the memo line. Just ignore that.

Alan: Once the profits start rolling in, I could move out.
Charlie: And once I start growing boobs I could start working the lunch shift at Les Girls, Girls, Girls.

Charlie: Berta, are you seeing this? Am I dreaming?
Berta: Do you have the Kardashian sisters under the table?
Charlie: No.
Berta: Then you're not dreaming.

Charlie: My date just canceled on me.
Gordon: Can't the service just send over another girl?

Alan: Is that for luck?
Evelyn: No, just kissing it goodbye.

Alan: You have five grand in your sweatpants?
Charlie: I prefer to think of it as "three hookers and a Philly cheesesteak."

Alan: How much is this going to cost me?
Charlie: The question is, "how much is this going to earn you?"
Alan: I'll stick with my question.

Displaying all 9 quotes

Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 15 Quotes

Alan: You have five grand in your sweatpants?
Charlie: I prefer to think of it as "three hookers and a Philly cheesesteak."

Alan: How much is this going to cost me?
Charlie: The question is, "how much is this going to earn you?"
Alan: I'll stick with my question.

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