Are you a TV Fanatic?
Sign up for our daily newsletter to receive personalized television news for free!
Alan: I think we should call the police.
Berta: Nah, he'll show. He may be broke and riddled with gonorrhea, but he'll find his way home.
- Permalink: I think we should call the police. Nah, he'll show. He may be...
Charlie: If I can't haive chelsea, I don't want to live.
Alan: Where are you going?
Charlie: Strip club.
Alan: Ah yes, death by lap dance.
- Permalink: If I can't haive chelsea, I don't want to live. Where are you ...
Charlie: I can't go in there, it reminds me too much of Chelsea.
Alan: The bathroom?
Charlie: It's where she used to brush her hair, floos her, and tinkle like a princess.
Alan: Okay, where have you been tinkling?
Charlie: I need a new ficus.
- Permalink: I can't go in there, it reminds me too much of Chelsea. The ba...
Berta: Damnit Charlie, get out of that water!
Alan: We need to go after him.
Berta: Don't look at me! I just ate, I gotta wait a half an hour.
Alan: Well I just took a shower and washed my hair, this is leave in conditioner.
Berta: What about Jake?
Alan: Jake's at this mother's.
Berta: Maybe we should give him a call.
Alan: There's no time!
Charlie [comes back soaking]: Water's really cold.
Alan: Just so you know we were about to come get you.
- Permalink: Damnit Charlie, get out of that water! We need to go after him...
Berta: Where you going?
Charlie: Out for a swim
Alan: You never go in the water.
Charlie: That's because I'm not a good swimmer.
Alan: You don't think he's gonna?
Berta: I dunno?
Alan: Charlie, stop this!
Berta: Charlie! Come back it's not that bad!
Alan: Come on, Charlie! You still have your family!
Berta: Very smart, now he's sprinting.
- Permalink: Where you going? Out for a swim You never go in the water. ...