Claire: I spent the entire time being groped by perverts in Montmarte
Betty: Oh, I'm sorry
Claire: Why? The French still appreciate something finely aged

Why must god test the pretty people so much more than the regular lumpy people?


You tell her what you know or I will tell everyone you have ambiguous genitalia, like a Ken doll. And that's the kind of stank that don't wash off

Amanda [to Suzuki's ex]

Marc, throw those people out of the conference room. I need to use it for the Gigi Lacoutre meeting. Actually, I'm in a good mood. I'll throw them out myself


All you need to know is that it's expensive, illegal, and will even out your tan lines. You're not allergic to panda are you?

Wilhelmina [to Connor about cleaning up goggle tans]

Betty! You look fantastic. How many times did I tell you to stop eating that fatty Mexican food. You are too young to have a heart attack

Amanda [thinking Betty had a heart attack]

Wilhelmina: Marc, don't just stand there like a gay flagpole, we want to celebrate. Go get something bubbly and expensive.
Marc: It's what I live for

Ignacio: Dr steve was pretty sure it's just a cough
Dr. Farber: Two week after a quadruple bypass surgery you can never be too careful
Betty: Hilda only spoke to Dr Steve on the phone
Dr. Farber: On the phone. Terrfic. That's how I order Chinese food

Wilhelmina: Didn't we have an agreement to keep this out of the office?
Connor: We did. I came in here to pee

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