Ugly Betty

Ugly Betty Season 1 Quotes

Episode 23: "East Side Story"

[after Christina open's Fey's safe]
Amanda: Ooh what's in there? I want money and jewelry.
Christina: It looks like her diary
Amanda: Eww, reading. What else is there?
 • Rating: Unrated

Christina: Back in Scotland I have a husband
Amanda: Oh, you just got 10% more interesting
Christina: He's an insurance auditor
Amanda: Okay, 5%
Christina: Believe me, it's less

 • Rating: Unrated

Amanda [to Christina]: We've been talking a lot about me.. and it's been fun!
 • Rating: Unrated

[After getting his job back Marc hugs Wilhelmina from behind...]
Wilhelmina: You did not just hug me
Marc: Of course I didn't

 • Rating: Unrated

Hygienist: Okay, maybe I do escape to the movies a little more often than I should. But this is your movie, Betty! This is your chance for the happy ending you've always wanted! Now go home and put on some totally cute top and run a brush through that hair, or maybe a hat! And go and stop that plane! You're Drew Barrymore!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bradford: I found someone who loves me and I'd be a fool to let that pass me by
Daniel: Who is it?
[Wilhelmina emerges from the darkness...]
Wilhelmina: Hi Daniel
Daniel: Wilhelmina...
Wilhelmina: Call me mommy
 • Rating: Unrated

[referring to Christina finding the love dungeon]
Amanda: and now my special place is ruined
Christina: Oh please, your special place was ruined years ago
 • Rating: Unrated

Betty: I can't sleep, I can't eat...
[Betty cowing down on chocolates and Christina gives her a look]
Betty: Well I can't sleep
 • Rating: Unrated

[Betty is trying to cook for Henry and Ignacio is on the phone giving advice]
Ignacio: Just add cilantro.
Betty: I don't think I have cilantro. Can I just add extra cheese?
Ignacio: You didn't buy chili powder, and you used ketchup, so why not?
 • Rating: Unrated

Fabia: You must come to the ceremony. I won't be able to get married without my something old.
Wilhelmina: Oh, with the veins in your legs, you already have your something blue.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marc: ... a little glitch, teeny, tiny, Cindy Crawford mole sized problem
 • Rating: Unrated

Hilda: We're trying to plan a wedding here
Santos: That's right, best man. What you don't want to help with this?
Justin: I told mom if she went with the green organze for the brides maids, she's on her own
 • Rating: Unrated

Hygienist: You are such a chick flick! I would totally pay $12 to see you!
 • Rating: Unrated

Hygienist: Oh my God! That is so romantic. It's like Julia Roberts flossing before whoring herself in "Pretty Woman".
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

[Amanda walks in on Henry and Betty about to kiss]
Amanda: Eww dorkus interruptus
Henry and Betty: Get out!
Amanda: Hey everyone, Betty is in heat!

 • Rating: Unrated

Daniel [to Betty]: There's Henry, why don't you go make awkward small talk with your friend
 • Rating: Unrated

Marc: Inhale Ricky Martin, exhale Colin Farrell

 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marc: What took you so long?
Amanda: I had to wait for Christina to go to the bathroom. That woman retains water like a two humped camel.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 22: "A Tree Grows in Guadalajara"

Betty: Besides, we get to meet all of our family members and practice our Spanish. "Hola comi a tu sobrina."
Ignacio: You just said "I ate your niece."
 • Rating: Unrated

Amanda: Shh. We'll get caught.
Marc: Please, if anybody hears us, they'll just think it's Christina stumbling around blind drunk, crying and making out with a mannequin.
Amanda: Again.
 • Rating: Unrated

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