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I wasn't allowed to wear long pants until I went to college, is it any wonder I was a virgin until my twenties?

Dr. Venture

Henchman 21: You got lucky, old man.
Sgt. Hatred: In your dreams, fat back.

Looks like you got a little herpe on your lip, have you been kissing your wife's ass... after I put herpe in there?

Action Johnny

Johnny [about Dr. Venture]: I'm the old one, but he looks like he could be my dad.
Dr. Venture: That's because you have more chemical preservatives than a twinkie, and don't try and tell me that's not a weave.

Dr. Z: We never had children of our, you see. We married late. And though my lover's mountains are both beautiful and bountiful, I'm afraid the valley below is quite barren.
Mrs. Z: I thought we could not have kids because I was your beard.
Dr. Z: Ahem-ahem.

Dr. Z: So, a snake kills your psychiatrist, and you fly all the way down here in the middle of the night to beat up an old man because of a matchbook.
Dale Hale: Yeah, sounds kind of sloppy when you say it.

Action Johnny: You're gonna tell me you didn't send your flunky to murder our therapist with a Vietnamese Two-Step Viper?
Dr. Z: Bah! When Dr. Z harasses you, you'll know it. A giant metal crab would tear the roof off of your trailer. No less than six suicide assassins would spring from its belly! I would never stoop to striking at you through some civilian proxy. And I certainly would not do it with a made-up snake!

Action Johnny: Hey, how are those balls doing, Rust?
Dr. Venture: Spirit is up and roving, but opportunity hasn't come back on-line yet.

Dr. Venture: Well, Daphne, I believe. She got around quite a bit. But Velma? I always thought she was a...
Action Johnny: Everybody did. But I got a pack of herpes that says otherwise.

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